My investigation into why healed conditions kept returning; The body’s allegiance to the consciousness; Imposing mental constructs on our experience; Reactive emotions versus deep emotional state; The manifestation zone – Gender and Sexuality; Energy flow from consciousness to body; How to stabilize body temperature  

Dear Ed,

This is about one very simple principle of holistic healing that took me very long to learn.

There’s this frustrating thing, where when you look into why an allergy flared up again out the blue, why an infection struck again, why a condition came back after going away for a while; all the information you get is, “Stress can cause this.”

Stress is such a generic word, Ed, and most people are living under stress 24 x 7 for years and years. OK, I understand there’s everyday stress and there’s worse than that, stress, but I just find it frustrating and unfair, to tell someone that stress caused the problem.

What’s the use of medicine really if one bad day can cause it to go defunct?

I first started investigating this when I was a teenager. I had (and have) faith in prayer, Ed. Many times in my life, I had no access to medicines or herbs and had a debilitating problem, I’ve prayed and been healed. I’ve prayed for others and they’ve been healed. I was somewhat famous in church circles when I was a teenager for that.

My problem was when the problem would come back after a few days. If God had healed the person, why did the problem come back? WHY WHY WHY. It burned me and tested my faith in everything.

I thought – Maybe prayer healing is just a temporary thing for emergency help. God has made herbs and medicines and healing therapies so that we go through the process of healing. That process of healing is important because as we heal our bodies, we heal our consciousness and our lives change. That life change is the reason we fell ill in the first place.

It is all indeed so true, Ed. The healing process is important.

I could just pick anyone off the street and ask them about their life and they’d tell me at some point that finding healing for a health condition they had, led to something that led to something that led to something now an indispensable part of their lives. So, that healing process is important.

So I made peace with that.

Granddad rubbed it in too. The day I had two heart attacks on the same day, Christmas day 2000, he rewired my energy field manually. I ran up and down the stairs fifteen times without losing breath immediately after. I was ecstatic! I was gushing, “Teach me to do it too.”

Granddad warned me it was temporary. And he taught me something then and later on as well.

The first allegiance of body is to your consciousness.

Whatever you give the body, it will go back to maintaining itself as a mirror of your consciousness, and to support you staying in that consciousness. It is semper fi to your consciousness.

Take me for example. I had severe heartbreak in my childhood and then teenage years. I had 99% put it away from my conscious mind. I really mean 100%. But consciousness doesn’t give one damn for our conscious mind. Sad but true. It’s all about reality for our consciousness or energy field.

If we’re sad deep down, our consciousness is sad, depressed, self isolating, and our body is ever faithful, semper fi, to reflecting that.

No matter which medicine you take, which herb, which yogic practice, which chant you chant, where you go holidaying, how much money you give away, or keep…. It all doesn’t matter. The body will swing back to reflecting your consciousness.

Alright, so when I was 23, I began to wake up and smell the coffee. I had this moment when in one second I realized my life was full of lies. I wasn’t the cheerful life-of-the-party I thought I was. I wasn’t free. But worst of all, I had nothing but unresolved pain in me to give anyone who might love me.

So now I decided I was going to exhume all my pain and face the truth about me and my life. Now I look back, I was like a million miles away from even imagining what I’d have to look at. I had been living with such illusions.

But thank God for the spirit in us that makes us push for healing without being aware of the mountain we’re under. 😉 If we told kindergarten kids that they’d have to learn calculus one day to pass out of school, they’d toss their bag and lunchbag and everything and say, “NO WAY I’M EVEN STARTING ON THAT PATH.” (Note – This does not mean I support the existence of calculus in any way. I’m just saying.)

But I started out to exhume my suppressed emotions. I actually thought I’d be done by the weekend. That was 2003. haahahahahaha

Anyway, so the thing is, you have to change your basic attitude to life, and that takes time.

There’s no use emptying your cupboard every weekend and rearranging everything, until you change your habit of tossing things in or pulling everything out to find one thing, and then stuffing everything back in higgledy piggledy because you’re in a hurry.

It’s a horrific thing for a mentally intelligent person such as myself (hmm huh) to change my attitude to being emotionally aware in the moment. I was more of a constantly mental person who “Tapped into emotions” for a “creative inspiration” while writing “inspirational posts” for my blog.

I had a blog in those days. It was called “The Secret Garden”. I named it after my childhood favorite book. But most others thought it was a place where I’d write about my sexual fantasies. Except for one time when I made up a story about how I lost my virginity on a summer day when I was hot and a man twice my age offered me a cold drink – an April fool’s day post that had people commenting even before they read to the end and found out it was an April fool’s day post; I didn’t write anything about sex.

I was writing creative emotional stuff! But everything got taken sexual- perhaps because of the title “The Secret Garden.” I had to close the blog because I couldn’t take the atmosphere anymore. (For your entertainment I will put some posts from then at the bottom of this article.)

But that was my attitude. My emotional exhuming was for a creative process. I thought it was enough.

It took me so long to realize I had to change the way I tossed clothes into the cupboard and removed clothes from the cupboard, on an everyday basis, to keep it neat. That I couldn’t afford two hours every weekend reorganizing it.

Emotionally, that I had to be aware in the moment, not keep it for later, when I’m writing my diary or whatever. That I had to stop imposing mental constructs on life.

Let me give you an example of what I mean by that.

How I was, was, if let’s say I was sitting in a cafe and someone I knew came by, and I said Hi; my previous attitude was a mental one where I’d think, “He’s a friend of friend, and must therefore be a good guy. I must enthusiastically greet him and be happy that I know so many people. So many NICE people.”

So I’d impose this on myself as the person was walking up. I’d be in this mind box of – “This is a friend of whoever, he’s a nice guy”.

In reality I’d probably not know very much about the guy or his friend for that matter. And I was in the mind box – “Do not judge”. I mentally told myself everyone was a wonderful person – if not obviously, then deep down.

It’s all good for a movie, but in reality you get into deep deep trouble with an attitude like that. Where you mentally tell yourself what to experience.

Several people actually teach you to THINK through life, like that. It’s wrong. It causes trouble. It causes us to lose our basic power of emotional experience and recognition of reality to know what’s what and pick up life cues. It creates suppressed emotions and causes health problems that don’t go away until they’re expressed.

Take affirmations for example. It is in fact a great help to tell yourself things, remind yourself, specially in moments of stress, about life truths and such. But past a certain point what it does is make you mentally impose on the situation instead of being emotionally aware.

I had reached a point where I was mentally making myself view every situation through the prism of my affirmations and faith statements. I would realize hours or days later, what actually happened during certain interactions.

As good as those affirmations are, they can never do for us what awareness and experience of the moment can.

So I had to change my attitude, my very way of facing life, that I’d developed to survive my childhood, because it was now hurting me… And I can’t say I’m fully there yet, but I’ve come a long way.

What I did initially though, to stop being so mental, was make compartments of my life. These, these and these situations are where I can be emotionally aware. And these situations are where I CANNOT AFFORD to be emotionally aware.

Those times we think we can’t AFFORD to be emotionally aware, they tend to be the times we need to the most. Because that’s an open channel for abuse right there.

It’s a hard thing to face, Ed. Because many times these are dangerous situations.

I knew this woman who was in a custody battle for her child. I don’t know the details but the thing was, she had to really behave herself, on visits with her child. She had to not be drunk, for one, and not do reckless things like take the child too far away from home so they couldn’t get back by 8pm. That sort of thing.

To tell her to be emotionally aware on those visits instead of mentally controlled, took all of my will and courage and faith. But I felt my instinct saying that her problems could in fact be resolved by being emotionally aware despite the dangers it posed where she could start tripping, get ungrounded, do something reckless that could make her lose even visitation rights.

The general idea is that alcoholics and drug addicts are over-emotional. However, the opposite is also often true. They can actually be terribly emotionally repressed and it could be the root of their problems.

Whatever I recommended, the woman had her choice to make and she really wanted healing. She decided to be emotionally aware and things worked out for her.

Our heart CAN take care of us, in the worst situations, Ed.

This is hard to believe for those people who feel they were betrayed by their heart at some time. Who feel that if they’d not gotten emotional at some point and believed and trusted the wrong people, they wouldn’t have gone through the suffering they did.

Being emotionally aware, instead of mentally controlled, brings unexpected solutions because we’re experiencing and facing reality instead of imagining reality.

A lot of people think being emotionally aware is an option. It isn’t. Not for someone who has a soul anyway. We’re born to experience life, not imagine and pretend. When we experience life, we grow and move on.

Life is the experience of the soul. If we stop emotionally experiencing life, we stop living.

So I started out:
1) Learning that that the process of healing is important, and
2) Experiencing life, ie., being emotionally aware is important.

But now I had a new problem. I was exploding everyday, a few times a day.

I’m emotional about everything, as most humans are in fact. I’m emotional about the vegetables I cook, and cooking makes me emotional. Everything makes me emotional. Cooking, cleaning, waking, sleeping, working, showering, ironing… everything. Everything has memories attached to it.

I was exhausted dealing with my emotions.

Enter my awesome Granddad who told me – There are two sorts of emotions. Reactive emotions and your emotional state. Reactive emotions are the weather. Emotional state is the climate. If you are dressed right for the climate, you don’t have to worry every single day about the weather.

That helped me a lot. It made me look beneath the surface emotions, to the EMOTIONAL STATE – which is in fact our consciousness.

And that’s where, we can begin to actually change our consciousness, our bodies and our lives by emotional awareness.

For me, Ed, it was plain good old deliverance to realize my various emotional states as opposed to reactions. One can react with joy at the sight of a flower, as the deep soul cringes with disgust and terror at the place the flower is, or the person carrying it.

Slowly I realized that these states of consciousness don’t come and go as quickly as the reactive emotions. One can go days, weeks, years in the same state. Hopelessness, Self Doubt, Terror, “Nobody loves me,” “I’m not important,” these are states of consciousness, life attitudes that can last even lifetimes and in healing them is amazing energy release for the body.

When we become aware of our deep emotions, or emotional state, we find we also become aware of our bodies. They’re the same thing.

Which now brings me to why I started writing this to you in the first place.
Because see, there’s a level of consciousness that encompasses both emotional state and physical manifestation or body.

I simply call it the energy field but in fact is that zone where the invisible unmeasurable (in this realm) changes into the visible measurable body.

You know how you can see the colors of the rainbow but not the exact point where one color changes to the other?

It’s something like that.

I’m not a physicist, but I wonder why more “scientists” haven’t studied this.

It’s a topic of such importance Ed. Where does the invisible “quality” translate into the measurable vibration and then from that into visible substance?

That zone, Ed, is something very important to understand for permanent holistic healing.

I cannot demonstrate it to you, but now I’ve even so much as mentioned it, your soul has been reminded and through the day and from now on, your soul will make you remember and sense that zone of you.

It’s the deep emotional state zone, which is ALSO the body consciousness zone.

In this place, emotional state and physical vibration are One.

Now, Ed, imagine a man who has broken his wife’s heart very bad. Let’s say, cheated on her. Now, imagine he feels bad about it and decides he wants to “change”. He buys her flowers and takes her out to dinner. She’s happy about it too. However, the betrayal changed her emotional STATE, her deep emotion zone. Can an evening of flowers and a nice dinner out change that? No. Can she trust that man again like before? No. Will her body be like it was before? No.

The same goes for everyone.

Those who control mainstream media and such, they know this. Only the most juvenile of marketers, play with a person’s emotions in the moment, or reactive emotions. The real Machiavellian evils, they do covert attacks on emotional states.

For example, a movie that might be on the surface a story that’s inspiring, could actually have this pall of gloom all over it, seeping through everything happening. While you feel mentally inspired, you could come away from it actually hurt in your emotional state because after an hour of being exposed to gloom, you’re actually feeling hopeless about your life. You’ll fall for any crap that gives you some comfort after that attack on your soul.

The consciousness of those who make the movie gets across, their spiritual intention wasn’t just to make money by entertaining or inspiring you.

About music, it isn’t lyrics or even the actual music we get attracted to first, it’s the consciousness and the frequency. That’s why the music we listen to often reflects our deep emotional state. Melancholy likes melancholy. Struggle likes struggle. Sexually suppressed likes sexually suppressed. Remember, it’s not about the music itself or lyrics, it’s about the consciousness and frequency. You could listen to a song about beautiful clouds and then want to cut your wrists. You could listen to a song about mass destruction and then go feed puppies in the rescue shelter.

Emotional maturity is learning to face that the obvious emotion being evoked by a scene, might not be the one experienced by your soul.

You begin to be truly safe from betrayal once you learn to face what your soul is experiencing over what your surface emotions are.

Your body starts healing because you’re living in reality – whether that’s pleasant or not.

We’re warriors Ed. We can face reality. We can win.

Now this Deep Emotional State – Body Consciousness zone, I like to call it the manifestation zone, because it’s where our soul manifests our body; it’s there in every cell of us.

It was there before the physical cell was formed, so it has all the information, to re-form cells, organs, the body, whenever required.

Imagine what healing is possible, when we heal there.

Something that changed my life a huge deal, and perhaps is why I’m still alive today, is understanding that this deep emotional state – body birth zone, it’s the zone that rules:

Gender and Sexual energy on the invisible side, and
Temperature or frequency of the Body on the visible side.

I so hope I’m able to get this across, Ed, because it’s such a life changing thing to know, and it is the KEY to holistic healing.

I used to think gender and sexual energy are determined by the physical organs. In fact that is not so. It’s a soul thing. Look at it from any angle you please. We already have our gender as a baby cell in our mother, and from then on it colors the entire development of our bodies.

An assault or unnatural interference (such as gene editing or DNA modification) on that level, at that time, changes the frequency and temperature of the body, preventing the translation of frequency into what it wants to manifest as, creating gender dysphoria or sexual identity confusion.

This zone of ours doesn’t just manifest our bodies as fetuses inside our mother, it is manifesting our bodies and life experience every moment.

Attacks on this manifestation zone of us, are not always as obvious as someone having sexual developmental problems, sexual energy or identity issues.

More often than not, it’s the constant disruption in energy a person experiences. Because the basis of every energy expression in a person is through the filter of sexuality. Only robots are androids Ed. And even they will show sexual preference at some point. ahahahaha.

But the very start of conversion of energy into vibration that can be experienced in the physical realm is through gender and sexuality, through the basic frequency that maintains the temperature of the body.

Male energy -> male sexual energy patterns -> energy tends to flow out more than in -> slightly higher base body temperature than women -> male body

Female energy -> female sexual energy patterns -> energy tends to flow inwards more than out -> slightly lower base body temperature than men -> female body

Now, Ed, if energy isn’t flowing out right between our soul and body, we experience chronic low energy and from it come so many chronic problems and dysfunction that I cannot list them all.

You take ANY chronic health condition. It’s simple cause is that the body is failing to heal properly. And the reason for that is chronic low energy or energy disruption.

When we heal the energy flow from soul to body, we heal everything.

Now I know how general that sounds, and I still haven’t reached the one thing I wanted to say which was why I started writing this.

Did you notice that thing I said about temperature?

So, it’s like this.

Emotional state sets our frequency and frequency sets our base body temperature.

This base body temperature is the climate in which our body functions. If it’s lower than what it should be, our glands all under-perform. If it’s higher than what it should be our glands all over-perform.

If this base body temperature is not stable, we swing between under-performance and over-performance, and that’s where we find autoimmune problems, “problem skin”, and hormonal confusion and imbalance and the like.

Now, Ed, you take any chronic problem, 9 times out of 10, the person will take treatment for the symptoms. Almost never will you find anyone bringing up the matter of needing to restore stable body temperature. Because it can’t be done medically.

How to restore body temperature balance Continue reading