Letter to Ed describing my very crazy but true story about how I almost died from fear induced asthma when I was fifteen – I went from healthy to dying in 3 weeks. My experience with fear in childbirth and the greatest line up of herbs ever to relieve lung, uterine and abdominal cramps + two breathtakingly beautiful tropical herbs.
Ed, first of all I have to confess I’m writing this to you just to show off the pictures I took of a particular herb taking over the hillside. I feel like my home team is winning when herbs spread over other vegetation. It isn’t that I don’t like other vegetation, but when a particular herbs spreads virulently, it MEANS something, it’s a message from nature for the times. The plant is being energized by the earth to grow and spread because there is need for it.
Just like that, Ed, when it’s time comes to an end, every herbal invasion disappears too. Without sprays or pesticides or anything.
The consciousness of the Earth has kept everything in balance in all the wild places all these eons without US aid money to use sprays and pesticides to restrict invasive weeds to save the planet. But that’s another topic.
Back to the topic:
When I was fifteen, due to an unfortunate smelting incident… no I guess I can’t use that phrase here. I’ll have to tell you the whole sordid story. Or most of it.
So in church I fell into the company of some young women doctors. I thought I was safe from the pandemics that violate the innocence of maidens by hanging out with very grown up doctors who often discussed the dead bodies they had done autopsies of, while having tea in a restaurant.
It so happened, the doctors were in their late twenties and early thirties and still unmarried. Their real interest was in landing husbands – but they’d graduated from “cheap stunts” like losing weight and makeovers. Now it was all about the pursuit of intellectual companionship with physical compatibility and found through spiritual enterprise.
As the days went by, I began to realize that I who was just hanging about because of a morbid interest in finding out which diseases were killing the most people in REAL life, had been included in the ‘gang’ for one simple reason. My potential as a seer of visions.
I saw things others didn’t (unfortunately not dead people). Inherited ability obviously. But my great abilities only worked when I actually cared about someone. It couldn’t be turned on and off at will.
And everyone knew that.
So here I was in this gang, and every time we went out for tea after church meetings, I’d be told how much the doctors wanted to get married.
I couldn’t really understand it then. Hormones hadn’t hit me yet. The thing I did understand was that they were really really worried because they did want to have children and in the medical system, once you get past 26 or so, you get considered an “older mother” and your pregnancies get considered “high risk”. They being in the medical system, and one of them in obstetrics; this hit them in the face every day.
Long story short, one Saturday evening they arrived at my place and got permission for me to spend the night at one of their houses. There, we sat in a circle on the bedroom floor and were supposed to pray for “the salvation of sinners” and such things, when I was asked to pray and ask God to show me clues about their future husbands.
Be patient, Ed, this is all leading to an actual respectable article about herbs for lung spasms.
I don’t know if something had been slipped me in the tea, or what, but all of a sudden I began seeing things, like I never had before. These were like movie scenes. I saw each of their “future husbands” ie. I just saw these men and described them. And wow Ed they were so thrilled and happy. And they asked me to “try” again and again.
Needless to say, the “future husbands” were all handsome and distinguished looking and doing respectable things in the visions, like sitting at tables with books on the shelf behind them, and standing near windows that looked out on extensive lawns.
About 11pm I was hit by drowsiness so strong I was almost falling over. Now I realize I was most certainly drugged in some way or another. Just then, one of the doctors says to me, “We’ve been praying for our husbands all along, let’s pray to see yours now.”
I knew Ed, that I should not have done that. I wasn’t even curious to be honest. Hormones hadn’t hit me yet. But I was so sleepy and I wanted the whole thing finished with, or the next morning it would all continue.
So I closed my eyes and asked God to show me my future husband. And then it all happened so fast.
I saw someone- looked like a man – wearing a flannel checked shirt and jeans and either riding a horse or a very fast bike. I went with horse – it was more appealing. And almost falling asleep, I groggily watched this man moving very fast, and then in one horrific second I saw him crash against something and hurt his leg. I cannot remember now because of the trauma I experienced, but he might’ve flown off whatever he was riding on to the ground.
For one horrific set of about 20 seconds I was awake and then I just curled up and fell asleep.
The next day Ed, I went home feeling very unwell. For many days I had a high fever that came and went with no explanation. And then, very quickly, for the first time in my life I developed asthma.
In just a few days it went from just difficulty breathing to full blown asthma.
It used to rain so beautiful in those days – summer rain. And I loved the smell of the rain on the warm earth. But that year, the second I opened the window and the smell of the rain came in, it felt like a million needles poking my lungs. I doubled over in pain, shut the window and crawled to my bed.
The doctor gave me the standard asthma drugs Salbutamol and Ventorlin. They didn’t work more than a day for relief. I’d stopped going to school. I could barely breathe. The doctor put me on steroids and I heard him advise that I be “kept comfortable” and others “be informed” – that I could be expected to pull on about a week more at the most.
All of this happened in about 3 weeks, Ed.
I mention this because we’re seeing similar things happen now. Where someone healthy 3 weeks ago is expected to DIE of lung problems so quickly.
But what happened to me then? I was so weak I couldn’t walk without support. I would go to the bathroom from my bed, holding on to the walls for support. The drugs made my body shiver and shake like a leaf in the wind. I was physically devastated by them.
I lay in my bed all day and night, in a delirium of weakness, passing in and out of consciousness.
And then one day I heard someone say it was Wednesday. On Wednesday there was Bible Study in the church and I really liked going because I was more interested in the history side of things than the usual sermons. I was all into the wars and how many donkeys and horses died and who took how much loot and I loved stories about King David.
I felt so bad and miserable that I couldn’t go. And I prayed to God without actually praying. I started crying in bed wondering how come I’d fallen ill so bad like this.
In a few moments, I suddenly remembered the vision I’d seen of the man having an accident. Just like that my lungs cramped so tight I gasped and almost died. I experienced fear, terrible fear and anxiety gnawing at every bit of my insides. My feet curled up with terror. It felt like my hair curled up in terror.
And then I felt God comforting me. Just like that. I found my lungs relaxing, and I broke out into a sweat. I got out of bed, and managed to get dressed. Twenty minutes later I slipped out of the house unseen, to go to Bible Study.
At the church no one had heard anything about me dying, so no one was really surprised to see me there.
When I returned however there was some screaming – they thought I was my ghost coming into the house.
It seems so long ago now, Ed. But I remember what I was wearing, and everything.
I went up to my room and threw the drugs out. I wrote in my diary that night that I had been attacked by fear and that I had gotten so affected that my lungs had gotten cramped and I’d almost died.
I wrote that there was no point pretending to trust God if I was going to be worried about my future husband or anyone or anything else for that matter.
I remember Ed, I wanted to make a plan to never go through fear again, but I couldn’t think of anything.
Now all these years later, I’m still no expert, but I do have a plan to combat fear and anxiety.
1) Disconnect from those who spread the consciousness of fear.
2) Actively use aids to reassure yourself – print things out that reassure you, and stick them up on doors and walls wherever you can see them.
3) Have herbal teas and drinks to help in difficult times.
1) Disconnect from those who spread the consciousness of fear.
About those who spread the consciousness of fear; you’d be surprised at who they are. When I was giving birth to Gabriel, the labor wasn’t progressing because I was in such fear and anxiety. 32 hours, THIRTY TWO HOURS into labor, I had to face that I was doing something wrong. Something was blocking the progress of the birth.
I realized I was so terrified and tense, that my uterus was almost rigid. I was surprised because I thought I was the boss of being fearless. And I wondered why the hell I was so terrified. And as the next contraction took over, throwing all my thoughts out of my head, I began to see a procession of websites on the internet I’d read in preparation for the birth. Those websites that seem to be all about supporting natural birth but for whatever reason, actually carry and spread fear.
Perhaps its how they end articles with, “If everything doesn’t go according to plan, call the doctor.”
In real life, very little ever goes according to plan, so you get programmed into thinking everything’s going wrong and go into terror.
As I realized that I’d gotten fear programmed despite everyone’s best intentions, I disconnected from all “opinions” and focused on my own experience and my own instinct. Things went way way better after that, and Gabriel was born hale and hearty – the loudest baby I ever met.
If an interaction or reading or watching something makes you fearful, it’s poison to you. That’s my attitude Ed, to anything that spreads fear. It’s poison.
I know because I almost died because of fear. It can get that bad for some people. For others it hangs about rotting parts of the body, sapping away the joy of life.
And now for the herbs.
Herbs that release spasms and cramps in the lungs or elsewhere:
The traditional herbs are:
Golden Seal – I put this first because it gives the body a feel of confidence. Usually used for its antibiotic effect, I use it in tiny quantities, for its consciousness of, “Let’s clear up what doesn’t match my spirit.”
Liquorice – Eases the spasms for everyone and especially helps with trauma induced diarrhea.
Plantain (Plantago) is soothing.
Rue – Eases the spasms too, by working as a conditioner of the muscle tissue, especially helpful when there’s unreleased anger, when there’s a sensation of tearing pain in the lungs or uterus or anywhere else for that matter. That feeling of being frayed.
Elecampane (Inula) – Conditioner of tissue as well, especially helpful when the trauma is a habit and the lungs have gone weak in the long term (old age for example).
Cactus – Balances heart beat rate and nervous frequency so the lungs can relax.
Vervain – Gives the nerves strength – very important if you’re on drugs that are draining you of nerve force.
Motherwort – Leonorus Cardiaca – Wherever the spasms are – lungs or abdomen, this herb strengthens and calms.
Burdock – Where there are spasms and loss of flow of thought through the process- like the mind shuts on and off. Something so troubling the person that it actually blocks their stream of thought and they ask you, “What was I saying just now?”
Yellow Dock (Rumex Crispus) – For when there’s a feeling of being paralyzed by fear and unable to think of what to do next. The lung or uterine or abdominal spasms are slow and achy and numbing rather than sharp or alerting.
Chamomile – It works great to calm those who are generally over heated. If you’re the type of body that tends to feel cold a lot more than hot, it’s not the remedy to relax the lungs and muscles of the body.
It also doesn’t work that well for those who are mentally overcharged.
Drosera or pitcher plant is the one for those who feel cold a lot. Cold terror types.
Dandelion is the right balancer for the mentally overcharged person. It doesn’t work so much in one go, but has to be had regularly to change the way energy flows.
Evening Primrose for when the spasms are accompanied by menopausal type hot flashes.
Acorus Calamus for when there is speech and throat and voice and expression trouble along with the other manifestations of fear.
Aconite (highly diluted dose) when the kidneys and urine are affected.
Gelsemium for when there’s uterine bleeding or hemorrhage because of the stress.
Pothos is for those who feel claustrophobic because of terror and the lungs clam up.
Rhus Tox or Poison Ivy (high diluted dose, mind you) for those whose lungs and abdomen nerves and muscles knot up and digestion is affected causing constipation.
And now Ed, here are the pictures I recently took of two herbs – tropical herbs and therefore not so much a part of my medicine making at this time (Granddad mostly used traditional western herbs), but which I have personally found to be excellent in helping combating fear or trauma induced conditions, especially respiratory.
This is Galphimia glauca.
This beauty is from Central America and has been used since forever for anxiety and anxiety related conditions like asthma.
I had it one day as a tea and I liked it so much it’s become a regular. It’s uplifting in a nourishing way. It’s nerve strengthening.
It reminds me a lot of Meadowsweet (Filipendula Ulmaria) – which was the grass our ancestors used for tea before what we now call tea (Cammellia Sinensis) got popular.
And this is Asystasia gangetica or Creeping Foxglove – the inspiration behind this post.
This beauty grows in low fertility soil, covering whole swathes of mountains and hills preventing the soil from getting eroded.
Look at how it simply carpets over the hillside!
In the pic beneath, all the green you can see, apart from the little trees and line of bushes at the top, is Asystasia!
In a shady part of the hillside, here it is growing right over trees and bushes and rocks and everything! I’ve never seen anything like it before, Ed. This plant knows no fear whatsoever, no limits whatsoever. If it’s its time to grow and spread, it’s going to grow and climb over EVERYTHING.
It works on such a holistic full system level that I feel bad to say it specifically does this or that.
To put it in one sentence – It works as a healer and pain killer where muscle tension caused by fear, is the cause of the pain or weakness.
The effect of snake venom is a great example of how paralyzing fear can be. This herb has been known to undo the effect of snake venom. That says a lot.
Cannabis is a herb I left out of the above list simply because everyone already knows its powers.
Also, there are essential oils that help. Cypress Oil for example is an amazing relaxant.
Anything so pleasurable that it makes you breathe deep and long, works.
The opposite of fear is pleasure.