Vibrational Assault on the Liver – Signs and Herbs for Recovery

The liver’s work with frequency; Symptoms of Vibrational Assault on the Liver; Becoming allergic to one thing after another; Herbs for Recovery from Liver Trauma; Miasmatic Warfare; Liver Trauma caused by traumatic weaning off mother’s milk

Dear Ed,

Back in the day when Granddad was in the British Army, looking after horses, nearly all health problems were seen as aspects of liver weakness, damage, function and so on. Any sort of long term health support was rated as valuable or not on the basis of how much it supported the liver. Continue reading

How Sexual Energy Depletion causes Metabolic Inbalance

How I realized that displacement was causing metabolic syndrome that showed as immunity issues; Videos explaining how energy flows in the body and how to replenish stored energy.

Dear Ed,

There’s been a lot of talk about fungus recently. About how those with compromised immunity are more susceptible to it, even to it causing death by spreading so virulently that it attacks an internal organ and results in death.

I’ve had some experience with various sorts of fungi, Ed, as I grew up with very compromised immunity, and have lived in some very rainy wet places, places with so much humidity in the air that my music system speakers went blue with fungus! I nearly lost all my books to fungus. And my clothes never would fully dry out (I didn’t have a clothes dryer) so even after ironing them they’d still be slightly damp.

At one time it seemed that for years, while I was traveling, every hotel room in my budget had fungus. And every house I could rent had mold somewhere or the other.

All this exposure to fungii meant several experiences with lung and skin infections.

Believe it or not Ed, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not compromised immunity that aids the spread of fungus in the body, but metabolic imbalance caused by sexual energy imbalance. I know that sounds a little crazy but let me explain.

Candida, possibly the most famous fungus baddie, is famous for feeding on sugar in the body. A lot of people have found that quitting sugar stops Candida in its tracks.

I’ve read that Candida bastards MAKE a person crave sugar! So the more candida bastards are ravaging your body, they change your body chemistry and make you want and therefore get attracted to sugar.

I just thought, “Those bastards got to be killed. Just make everyone stop having sugar. Candida is a bastard. Sugar is a bitch.” I feel bad about the language Ed. But anyone who’s had an outbreak of dandruff or such understands. Its just so very frustrating.

The fact is, you can’t eliminate ALL sugar from your diet, the body needs it too.

And you’ll meet people who’ll say stuff like, “Oh just use this shampoo,” or “Just wash your hair with apple cider vinegar.” (About recurring issues like dandruff.)

And that works for some, but not for someone with a metabolic disturbance and sexual energy imbalance.

As a child, Ed, I was moved about a lot between the age nine and twelve. In those years I changed schools once every year for four years, across three different states.

I got to see one big difference between kids. Those whose energy patterns hadn’t been disturbed by displacement and those whose had.

Those were the pubescent years, when the classroom was full of hormones developing for the first time. I’m very sensitive to hormonal scents and energies so it was like watching such a show, for me.

I don’t know if you ever changed schools Ed, in those years, or had a drastic change of emotional environment. But you did teach kids for a while so maybe you’ve noticed the difference between the not displaced kids and the displaced ones.

The not displaced ones have had more or less the same food all their lives, are adjusted to the emotional and energetic environment, not likely to get overexcited or deeply affected by things. In general they’re at ease in their bodies unless there’s some specific abuse in their lives.

Their passing into puberty is relatively drama free as their sexual energy patterns develop calmly and without disruption over the years from five on.

On the other hand are the displaced kids. Over achievers or under achievers. They have to recalibrate to the new environment. It could take forever. It might never happen.

These are those whose bodies react dramatically to metabolism influencing substances that other kids’ bodies don’t react to that much.

By metabolism influencing substances, I mean sugar, coffee, soft drinks, herbs, spices, drugs.

Their basic threshold of metabolic stability is not developed enough to take the onslaught of a metabolism influencer. One night without enough sleep could devastate them.

Many of them had relatively healthy childhoods but it was the prepubescent years and teenage years which revealed a whole lot of crazy disorders.

Which brings us to sexual energy.

Sexual energy is basic vital energy that’s stored in the bottom half of the body. It converts on requirement to all other forms of energy.

When we’re very little children, our sexual energy is nearly never directly expressed out into the environment as sexual energy. It circulates in the body developing our internal organs.

However, around age five on, our body begins to develop patterns of sexual energy expression, and develop the reproductive system’s patterns that will result in maturation or adolescence.

From here on, I realized I couldn’t explain what I wanted to without doing it on video.

Part 1

How the bottom part of our energy field stores energy that the upper part expresses or uses in different ways;
How energy moves in men and women;
How energy moves in childhood and then later around puberty and adolescence
How we lose sexual energy or stored energy because of displacement or disruption and are depleted
The need to replenish the sexual energy store

Part 2

How to replenish the energy store;
We are the Earth, we can reconnect to earth field anytime anywhere;
How the lower body corresponds to the upper body;
Activities that result in emotional feedback;
Herbs that de-stimulate and therefore nourish a depleted body;
Occupy the lower body – an exercise mentioned in the Emerald Tablets of Thoth;

In conclusion;
Any energy expenditure that does not end with replenishment is not complete.

If we look for emotional fulfillment in everything we do, we connect to earth energy, and we will set our energy field right surely.

Immune System Intelligence & Rehab. of Oxygen Absorption Function

Why taking immunity boosters all the time isn’t good; Immune system intelligence; One stop remedy for oxygen uptake rehabilitation; pictures of the blood and oxygen support extract I made today Continue reading

Troublemaker Herbs to Change Life Mood

Dear Ed,

Of late I’ve come across more and more people struggling with letting go of what I call “life mood” to be able to move ahead.

An example of this is in how when we want to lose weight (for example) we know what we must do, but we don’t or give up at some point because of a lack of something. That something is the ability to change our life mood or consciousness.

A life mood is a consciousness or state of soul we are in long term. Sometimes weeks or months, sometimes years, sometimes lifetimes.

It’s become so much a part of us, that to change it we feel we have to lose ourselves or die.

Granddad drew a big circle on the ground with a stick. “This is you,” he said. Then he drew a small circle in the corner of the big one. “This is you now.” Then he marked a point inside the big circle but way outside the little one. This is what you want to be.

“Granddad…” I tried to shrug him off.

I just hated being told I wasn’t alright the way I was. I just rebelled. I simply hated being told I had to change.

Granddad usually never did that.

“Hey,” Granddad said, “Don’t shoot the messenger.”

The next few days it kind of cankered in me – what Granddad had conveyed.

It’s like this Ed – On one hand you feel you have to be faithful to your own soul to stay in a life mood. Like if you let go of your mood, you let go of the memories and all the things that happened to put you in that mood.

On the other hand, the whole point of memories is to help you heal so you can move forward. The reason you’re holding on to a life mood is so you don’t forget the life lessons to be learned from whatever put you in that mood.

I knew this guy who was such a horrible miser. The whole neighborhood would hear him and his wife’s arguments over buying things. For example, he didn’t want to buy a washing machine because all his bachelor days he’d hand-washed his clothes and he couldn’t see why he and his wife couldn’t continue hand-washing their clothes.

They were very well to do, but inside this guy’s head was a constant memory of poverty so strong that he always behaved like he was going to go bankrupt if he spent more than a very little on anything.

It’s sad but that cost him everything. Friendships, relationships and even his health. For all his miserliness he used to overeat all the time. He was just miserable all the time.

It’s an extreme case, Ed.

The last time I was out traveling to the post office. Yeah, since the lockdown started going to the post office has been like taking a day trip to another city and back. I wear my best clothes and take pictures on the way because who knows how many months it’ll be before we get to go out of our cell blocks again!

But the taxi driver was telling me about how he’d spent most of his savings on the down payment for the car and then the lockdown of 2020 started and there was no new money coming in, so he ended up spending all his savings just surviving.

He said something especially interesting. He said, “It happens in life that a time comes when whatever you hold on to, whether that’s money, or land, or anything, it goes. If it wasn’t the lockdown it would be something else.”

I find I don’t like fatalistic thinking. Like, “There’s nothing we can do about what happens to us.”

But the fact is, Ed, we have a life going on inside of us, that goes on its path irrespective of anything that happens on the outside.

Some people are morose and morbid at the best of times. Some are cheerful at the worst of times. And either way it works for them.

We’ve all got our own emotional groove and rhythm, haven’t we?

Why I’m writing this though is because it’s all alright until we have a life crisis and we need to expand beyond or change ourselves to heal, to reach our goals.

That’s when we need to change our life mood.

I used to be a happy go lucky, flippity “always look on the bright side of life” sort, until I became a mother. Suddenly I realized I had to look on the dark side of life too, or I wouldn’t be able to protect my child in this world. It was a significant and drastic change of my life mood. But I became whatever I had to to keep my child safe, well, cared for.

It’s an example of when life causes you to change your gait, your frequency.

Sometimes it’s an obvious change, such as becoming a mother or father that brings on the change of life mood, other times all we might have is this sense of inner struggle.

Why I’m saying all this Ed, is because the no. 1 reason why a life mood doesn’t change is because we don’t want it to. And realizing that we’ve reached a soul struggle stage and that it’s because we need to change our life mood, that makes doors and windows open in our consciousness.

If our soul wants to go on a path, we have to go, it’s our higher self leading us.

In my life, plants and nature have been my help and support as I changed. Angels, Ed, is who they are, come in little bottles.

As a teacher you know very well the quantum difference between classroom teaching and distance education.

You know how important it is, not just to get information, but catch the spark of passion for a subject, receive through soul transfer the experience of a subject, things far beyond words, things coming down a long line of human inheritance.

All the things we can think and say they’re all one level. But herbs and flowers, they are real teachers. When we come in physical contact with them, we are coming in touch with the spark of life, of consciousness and that’s like someone holding our hand and teaching us to skate, rather than us reading the instructions off a mobile screen.

Herbs to change Life Mood

I’m going to leave the usual nervines out of this list – Spikenard, Vervain, St.John’s Wort, Scullcap, Valerian, Mugwort, Yarrow. These are supporters of the nervous system no matter what frequency you’re in.

I’m going to list only the real troublemakers here. The ones who are

so emphatic in their own frequency that they make us get emphatic about our frequency Continue reading

Healing a Broken Central Nervous Core Meridian or Sushumna Nadi

Dear Ed,

There is a very common condition that modern medicine doesn’t address at all. The symptoms are treated, but not the cause. Perhaps, because it is such a daunting and intimidating prospect. Only the brave dare to even comprehend this condition let alone attempt to heal it. It is so much easier to simply live with the suffering than rise up against such a condition.

I’m talking about the condition where the central core nadi, or energy filament of the body, in the spine, called the “sushumna” in traditional hatha yoga, breaks.

A “nadi” – which literally means river is also an ancient name for the

energy pathways Continue reading

The Sheer Power of Herbs for Emotional and Nervous Distress; Zizyphus

Dear Ed,

I’ve had a crazy time studying energy fields the last few weeks. I’ve never seen so many people and animals changing so quickly so fast in my life before.

At the same time I’ve come to see like never before how very disadvantaged our modern lifestyles are when it comes to dealing with change of any sort. We’re all expected to keep doing all the same things everyday as if nothing’s changed.

I was pleasantly surprised one day recently when I found my own video recommended on Youtube – I’ve sort of forgotten about my channel on Youtube and stayed with typed up articles a long while now.

The video was about herbs – nervines to be specific – to help keep calm and face difficult days.

I found it on a day I needed it again and immediately made a nervous support mix and wow, was I helped -yet again.

Herbs for nervous and emotional support are seriously powerful help. All you need to be careful about is to keep the ones that are sedatives in a separate bottle to use only in the evenings. It’s the one mistake I’ve ever made with them. Other than that they’re just such amazing help.

I truly feel for those who don’t know that herbs can help without wrecking the body’s hormonal balance, and can truly uplift us without there being a downside.

This is the video that I found, introducing “Herbs for Hell””. The full article is linked to beneath.

The article is here: Herbs for Hell – Super Nervine Mix for Emergencies & Trauma Support

I leave you with beautiful pictures I took recently of Zizyphus Jujube – a berry that is a one stop tonic for anxiety and panic support as well as recovery from nervous breakdown and adrenal exhaustion. It’s got all the nutrition for the nervous system, especially for nervous energy loss IN THE SUMMER.

You know Ed, God made every fruit and flower and tree so perfect, that if we need some help, and there’s just one of them around, they’ll do it all for us.

Like us, plants are living beings, and just as, when we love and really want to help someone, we grow beyond our previous boundaries and acquire new superpowers for the moment, like Moms and Dads become superman and superwoman to protect their kids, so plants too can expand and heal us in whichever way we need.

So we need never feel that if we can’t find or afford a particular herb, that, that help we needed cannot come to us right through those who are around us.

Trauma and the Kidneys, Emergency Support

Signs of Kidney Distress – before you go and have kidney failure; Trauma and the Kidneys; Aconite for Kidney Distress Nervous Support; Alfalfa for Fluid Retention and vital energy support; Natural Salt and Sea Weed for kidney distress with sexual energy loss Continue reading

Radiation Pneumonitis – First Aid and Recovery with Herbs

Granddad’s experience with radiation induced pneumonia and pleurisy in the early 1900s; Die-off of cells and fluid in the lungs; The difference between an immunity booster and a vitalizing agent; Herbs for Radiation Pneumonitis and rehabilitation from it Continue reading

Polarity Balancers – Clay, Charcoal, Ash and Herbs

How cells become positively over-charged and lose energy; What helps to balance energy field polarity; Healing the space cells occupy; Different time zones in the same body; Energetic independence your own way

Dear Ed,

Everyone needs help right now to stay energetically balanced. I say everyone, because in our world right now, no matter where you are, there is some form of adrenalizing or over stimulating unnatural radiation affecting you right out of the skies and through imbalanced – no, poisoned, foods.

My visits to ancient sites in Australia and India showed me that this sort of thing has happened before and humanity survived it. So we have what it takes.

The root of the matter is a simple thing. It is over-stimulation of physical living cells, heating them up, causing the lubrication or water of the cell to get evaporated or dispersed, thereby breaking the energy field of the cell – which is carried in the water, into smaller energy fields. Just like one bigger water drop breaking into smaller ones. What happens though, is because the cell needs all those to be one, for the cell to function, the individual bits struggle to get back together and to do so, heat up and expend energy. Now when the drops become one big drop again – great; that’s the natural process.

However, imagine a situation where the drop is again over-stimulated, again over-heated, broken up and again had to re-consolidate itself. Imagine it goes on and on. The cell could get into a state of being permanently over-stimulated and low on energy because of the constant draining.

Now imagine that’s a lot of cells, and eventually a whole organ or large part of the body. The body first gets hyperactive and then crashes, and then hyperactive again and crashes again.

So very many of our modern diseases from the common cold (I haven’t found one ancient painting or sculpture, or even reference in ancient texts to this mysterious malady), diabetes, cancer, asthma, psoriasis, chronic fatigue, nervous inflammation, glandular dysfunction, hormonal imbalances of all types, fibromyalgia and so on are because of over-stimulation.

Now over-stimulation is a rather vague phrase. The right way of putting it is “polarity imbalance”. Our cells ought to be at a comfortable base energy frequency. When they get stimulated they move into a positive charge – where energy is being expended. When they’re recovering they slip into a negative charge where they’re consolidating themselves and healing. Other times, through the solar and lunar cycles they go with the whole body through the shift between outward and inward flow.

(My article on the common flu: Testing Positive; The Energetic Viewpoint, Herbs for Emergencies and Lung Support )

Any major recurring or chronic condition is usually nothing but the impact of shock on the system, and the system’s attempt to restore harmony.

Essentially, we can heal from anything so long as our cells ar e all energetically moving together. A shock however, breaks our energy field and we have different parts of us then living separate lives so to speak and the body finds it harder and harder to communicate from one part to the other.

Our bio-rhythms are disrupted so we have different rhythms in different parts of the body all at the same time.

Treating a person for recovery from shock – whether recent or old and suppressed, is about comforting the body and soul into a state where it connects up again. Just like little drops of water connect up to form a big drop.

So comforting herbs are essential in the moment.

However, in cases of repeated shocks, or sustained assault of the system, such as is the case with constant or regular exposure to radiation, food poisons and such, where the cells are constantly over-stimulated and become used to being in a state of positive polarity, we could use energetic balancers to balance the polarity.

Here are some polarity balancing substances described in the way they work. You’ll know by instinct if you need them.


Clays are energy neutral and simply absorb or blanket over-stimulated cells. All animals eat clay instinctively to balance and soothe an over-stimulated gut. So many health problems are caused by gut over-stimulation. Remember the gut is our second brain, and is filled with sensitive nerve endings. A lot of psychological stress therefore is also caused by the gut being over-stimulated.

Clay calms the positively polarized zones and if you take clay – Bentonite clay for example, regularly, even in small doses, it rehabilitates the body moving from positive polarity to back to balanced.

Amazingly enough, the same clays also provide various vital minerals and also cart away the waste products and rubble of the effect of poisons in the body.


When the body is over-stimulated the energy field is open to draining. Charcoal with its emphatic negative polarity influences the body to return to neutral. As the body does, it lets go of poisons.

One reason that we don’t pass poisons out on our own, is because of the cells being positively polarize already. In a hyper state like that the body doesn’t consider housekeeping tasks like throwing out poisons, important, so energy is not allocated and the poison stays on.

As the body returns to neutral and energy is allocated for housekeeping tasks.

Charcoal is commonly used around the world to purify water because it neutralized the positive charge that makes poisons poisons.


Since ancient times, ash has been used in ceremony and in medicine alike for its powerful energy properties. It has the opposite energy field of the substance it was before it was burned and became Ash. So it has the opposite properties of that substance.

Here’s a drawing by M.C.Escher, “Air and Water” 1938- that sort of demonstrates how cells are held in place in the body.

There’s matter, and its complement or opposite matter. The two together, keep the manifestation of that thing in place.

Fire or burning changes the energy field of matter to its opposite energy. This when ingested or put on the body has the ability to stimulate healing in the holding areas between the cells, the very space in which our cells are. How amazing is that!

Some examples of the modern use of ash:

Ash of coal, called Activated Charcoal (usually bamboo wood or coconut shells burned) is used in preservation of cheese. Any food spoilage is essentially a positive polarity – changing the polarity sort of energy freezes the cells so they don’t spoil quickly.

Edible vegetable ash for use in cheese making to prevent it from acidifying

PDF – Physicochemical and Antimicrobial Evaluations of Food Grade
Ash Aqueous extract from Furnace and Charred Plantain Peel
and Palm Bunches

My family used the ash of gold, silver, copper, tin, iron as well as various other ashes of plant material, rocks and crystals in all cases where there were long term trauma patterns in the system.

The use of ashes in western traditional medicine has been mostly snuffed out, although the field of homeopathy – which arose from the ashes of the old world medicine that was mostly censored and suppressed out of the consciousness of humans, uses dilutions of metal.

Indian Ayurveda however has in fact preserved to some extent knowledge of the making and use of various ashes called “Bhasma”. I have used many of these over the years, when making my own wasn’t possible.

It’s kind of hard to understand which Bhasma is for what based on what’s on the internet, so here is a breakdown based on my family’s traditional semetic/ Welsh/ Scottish system of understanding – but which can be applied to the Ayurvedic preparations as both just happen to be similar. All the old world had common forms of medicines it seems.

Gold Ash or Swarna Bhasma
is used for rejuvenation of the ability to hold energy. Let’s say someone’s gotten so depleted after months of surgery after surgery, or a very bad period of stress that’s just emotionally devastated them. This ash helps the system hold together and come around to holding energy again instead of constantly being drained.

Ash of Peacock Feather or Mayur Bhasma
Now the demand for this isn’t big enough to cause the extinction of peacocks, so I will mention it here. I really don’t like the use of animal anything medicinally, but you can get a lot of ash from even just one feather, and you only need such a little of it, so I think it’s sustainable.

This ash helps a system that is energetically screwed on wrong. It’s like something happened and the person’s energy field turned backwards or half the body turned one way and the other half the other way. The person’s not able to move in any direction because it’s a major screw up. The nervous system is messed up with the person first liking something and then throwing it up. Various nervous problems like abject terror of normally harmless things – like water, small insects and such, all respond well to this Ash.

Interestingly, it particularly works well for diabetics.

There was this case Granddad solved. The person had multiple time zones in his body. I’m not kidding. His left arm would fall asleep while his right arm was working! Parts of his body seemed so disconnected. He would fall asleep in the middle of cycling but his legs would keep cycling enough so he’d wake to find himself one mile down from where he was when he’d fallen asleep.

One part of him would be cold, and another hot. He developed the weirdest balding pattern ever. It was around his right ear like a semi circle and then spreading from there.

Granddad said he had a great sense of humor though and was so popular despite all of this. He’d lived with it for forty years or so when Granddad met him.

He took the ash of peacock feather for about two months and found a lot of the symptoms were reduced quite drastically and he felt like a new man and told Granddad that he’d been living in different time zones before and he was now mostly living in one time zone.

Something to think about, Ed…

Sea Shell Ash or Shankha Bhasma

Sea shells are powerful because they develop so hard and resistant through daily exercise with water. They’re a constant in the ever ebbing and flowing water. Sea shell ash is a medicine to restore health to the parts of us that have lost the ability to be flexible and work with changing situations.

This is actually critical because our very life depends on us reacting to everything. We need to react to food, or we’ll end up poisoned. We need to react to weather, to everything.

However when we are too bombarded by sensory and vibrational sensations to the point where we’re too tired to react anymore, or are too traumatized to, you could call this an energetic rehabilitation of our reactive functions.

It’s most often marketed as a medicine for GERD and digestive imbalances, but that’s just one aspect of reactivity.
It’s quite powerful in stopping hair loss due to continued stress, heals internal scar tissue and so on.

Being a product of water, it supports all the water processes of the body in normalizing. That would mean kidney problems and so on.

Those are my top three favorite ashes, but there are many available – Tin ash called “Vang Bhasma” is for recovery from hearing or auditory or vibrational trauma. All those who watch the news these days could use it. 😉

Iron Ash or “Loh Bhasma” helps the body recover from energetic draining through blood. Now you don’t have to lose actual physical blood to be drained through blood. Emotional energy draining and actual physical blood draining set off the same set of effects in the body. Iron Ash helps build resistance to emotional energy draining and recover from such draining in the past.

Ok, those were my top 5 favorite ashes.

And now for my department.


All the plants that bloom in the day are positive energy fields and stimulate the body.

All the plants that bloom after 3 in the afternoon are negative energy fields and rest the body.

However, whichever you take, the body will go the other way naturally.

For example if I push Gabriel on the swing forward, he will naturally come backward as well.

That is why most herbs aren’t exactly going to affect polarity in the body in any significant way. (Thank God.)

There is however a class of herbs that like Macbeth’s worst enemy,
Bloometh not only in the day, nor only in the night,
Groweth not on the ground, yet not in the sky;
Hunteth not its own food; yet does not die;
Drinketh not its own water; yet doth not dry.

(Oh my God, someone clap for me. That was spontaneous. Hallelujah.)
(Please Ed, don’t try correcting the grammar.)

But there is such a class of herbs. “Science,” evil that they are, call them parasites. But they are not parasites. It’s only that their role in nature is hidden from the foolish.

These are the plants- Mistletoe, Giloy (Tinospora Cordifolia) and the

Ghost Plant or Monotropa Uniflora Continue reading

Energy Drains and Body Aches or Fibromyalgia – Stop the Energy Draining

My beloved Spikenard – Raised me from the dead pretty much.

Conversation with Granddad about the cause of Fibromyalgia, How to Stop Energy Drains


I don’t have the wisdom myself to deal with a topic of such widespread importance and urgency as body aches caused by energy draining.

But I have gone from being drained to corpse-level every now and then, to being rather miraculously energetic given my circumstances.

Those who saw me in the days when I could keep awake only 4 hours at a time, and was on constant help of some sort or the other for body ache or what is called Fibromyalgia, and all my other various trauma and vampirism induced “life threatening” conditions, they would later marvel at my amazing recovery.


But I’d be doing a sore injustice if I didn’t ever write about what made such a huge difference to me, as to actually turn things around.

See Ed, when you’re on a certain road, it doesn’t matter what you have in the car with you to eat and drink, or what music or playing or what mood you’re on. Where that road leads to, you’re going to there. Where that road goes through, you’re going to go through there. You can keep cheerful about it, you can be pissed… But you can’t change things really so long as you’re on that road.

Now that’s how it is in life. Unless we change the road we’re on, the supplements and herbs and affirmations and all that matter little eventually.

I figured this out pretty early in my unfortunate – or maybe fortunate career in self destruction (fortunate because I earn a living from what I learned) .

Bu I figured out that my ultra-intelligent and well thought out moves were working for a while and then falling flat.

If healing is real, why do conditions re-occur?

If all the cells of the body are being replaced regularly, why does the body maintain scars in the same place year after year, decade after decade?

Are we doomed to illness and death?

Why bother healing at all if it’s just to be well enough to get some new disorder?

Questions like that.

Granddad of course arrived on the scene, mysterious and full of his own inner bliss – healthy as a fresh apple and not one bit afraid of my latest new diagnosed illness. I even think he found them funny sometimes Ed.

I remember telling him that I’ve got Fibromyalgia. His face was poker straight but I swear I saw him grin from ear to ear like it was funny.

I was insulted and he said, “Is that a new breed of dog?”


I told him that I’d been having severe chronic body aches, so debilitating I could barely do a thing all day.

He asked me what I took for it.

I said I’d tried painkillers but they hadn’t really worked because some made me sleep all day – which I could do anyway without them, and the others stopped working after 15 minutes or so.

“And then?” he asked.

“Oh,” I said, “What helps is Ashwagandha (Winter Cherry), and hot chocolate, and anything that strengthens me.”

“What are strengtheners called?” Granddad asked.

“Stimulants,” I said confidently.

I got the look from Granddad. That look which meant, “Your education went all wrong.”

“I don’t know what strengtheners are called,” I said.

“They’re called ‘adjuvants’.” Granddad replied.

“Right – adjuvants – like rejuvenating.” I replied.

“Hmm huh.” Granddad replied, “If you have a condition that adjuvants help, then what is the cause of the condition?”

“Lack of juvenation,” I replied so smartly.

“And,” Granddad said, “What is juvenation?”

“Energy,” I said.

“Now,” he said, “What is the cause of your malady?”

“Lack of energy,” I said mystified. And then added, “But Granddad I thought I had lack of energy BECAUSE of the fibromyalgia!”

Granddad shrugged, “Where did your energy go?”

I was really confused now, because he’d taught me that we can’t actually lose energy really, only have it blocked up because we’d assigned it to some task that we changed our mind about later, or didn’t fulfill for some reason.

I explained that to him and he said, “The cat got a ball of wool. Ok?”

“Ok,” I said, “The cat got a ball of wool.”

“The cat plays with the ball of wool and the wool comes unraveled all over the carpet.”


Now, where is the wool?

On the carpet.

Can you knit with it?

Only after I roll it back – hopefully it’s not dirty.

So if you want to knit with the wool, what do you have to do?

Roll it back up.

Ok, you rolled it back up.


And now you’re going to knit.


But now you have to have a cup of tea, because you’re tired from all that.


You have tea and come back.


What do you see on the carpet?

I don’t know.

The cat is back.

Oh no!

Yes, the wool is on the carpet again.

Oh no!

What should you do now?

Roll it back up. 🙁



Throw out the bloody cat.


You’ll never knit so long as that cat’s after your wool. You will freeze in the winter and your children will have raw red knuckles and feet.

Granddad! Don’t say stuff like that!

You want your children to be warm? Or you want the cat?

Granddad! You can’t make me choose! (Psst. I didn’t have a cat or children at the time but even hypothetically speaking…)

That’s the disease, Cara, you can’t choose.

What do you mean!!! I make choices all the time.

You make choices to underline your choice not to choose.


You’re so insecure, you won’t throw out a bag of tea you hate, because you think you might need it one day.

That’s being wise and not wasting stuff.

That’s not choosing what you’ve already chosen.


You don’t like the tea. You’re not going to have it. If you had no other tea you might have it, but you’re not going to LIKE it ever.

So what, but at least I’ll have tea.

What’s the point of having tea?

I don’t know…. antioxidants?

What do YOU have tea for?

Relaxation, I guess, makes me feel good.

Would you feel good if you had that tea you don’t like?

No… not really.

You’d be drained.


Yes, if you expect to like something, your body spends energy getting ready to enjoy it. But when that doesn’t happen, all that energy gets stuck because now what can you do with it.

You mean like if I cut cloth to sew something but I don’t sew that thing, all of it goes to waste – because I can’t sew something else with these pieces.

Hmm huh.

So basically, if I don’t like or enjoy something as I expected to, I lose energy.


And that causes my Fibromyalgia.

And other things.



So I only have to do what I like?



First you must throw out the cat.


Then with the cat gone, everything will be different.


Then you don’t need tea all the time. You don’t depend on it. You can have it for pleasure.


Then you will not keep tea you don’t like in the cupboard.



I don’t think I can explain it better than Granddad did, Ed, but just for the sake of summing things up in my own head – here’s my understanding of that conversation, now so many years later, and here’s what I want to say with this letter.

Chronic body aches or Fibromyalgia are most often the result of energy draining.

While herbs and supplements that strengthen and energize us, help manage the condition, what really addresses the problem, is stopping what’s causing the energy drain.

Everything else comes on its own when we stop the drain.

Now here’s the thing Ed, this is the difficult bit. Most people just don’t know what’s really draining them.

I didn’t back then. So what I did was, just uproot my entire life, looking for the cat. I’d sit in bed and obsess about every area of my life. If I suspected that a certain activity was draining me, I’d stop it. If I felt an interaction was draining me, I’d end it.

I did manage to reduce the energy draining quite a bit, but not fully and every now and then I’d have a relapse.

Years later it occurred to me that perhaps the whole energy drain thing and stopping the draining – perhaps it’s not about things like stopping talking to bastards, and stopping eating stuff made of refined flour and sugar…. Maybe those are just surface things.

Maybe I’m even attracted to what drains me because THERE’S SOMETHING IN ME THAT MAKES ME ATTRACTED TO WHAT DRAINS ME.

Now, this is the gross side of healing. The herbs and all smell lovely. But here, where you find there’s something inside you that attracts you to crap – here’s the gunk.

It’s different for each person Ed, and that’s why I said, I don’t have the wisdom it takes for a topic like this. I can only share my own experience and observations of others.

Eventually, we each have to explore our own selves and fix our selves, ourselves – everything external is a suggestion and an aid.

But what I found was that in 90% of cases where there’s a routine and chronic recurring energy draining situation – whether that shows up as Fibromyalgia or something else, there are one or more of the following;

1) False Identity
2) Energy Vampirism
3) False Values
4) Disconnection from the body
5) Life Deception

1) False Identity

Our body has a basic biologically inherited consciousness – and that consciousness responds to sound vibrations and frequencies that only our birth parents and ancestors have, as well as those in our soul group.

The result of holding a false identity is a body whose energy cannot be tapped because it does not respond to frequency and vibrations of something strange to it.

It will adapt to some extent but never fully be functional as an independent energy field, unless the person seeks and finds the frequencies he or she responds to, is comfortable with.

We would have done this naturally in simpler times, but in our day and age we’ve got a lot of mental constructs that hinder us from finding our primal selves.

So most people go through life carrying this burden of a fake identity sometimes.

It’s been my experience that until one learns not just to face the truth of their physical entry into this world, but to honor that in every way, and never suppress it or feel bad about it, we end up having energy flow crises again and again.

2) Energy Vampirism

Energy Vampirism is real. Organized energy vampirism is real. Intentional energy vampirism is real. Accidental or unintentional vampirism is also real.

Most of us are astute enough to stop interacting with those who drain us, but many of us have something in us that attracts us to draining entities and events.

I can’t say I know it all, but most of the time, that thing in us, is self hatred.

I know this might be a crazy thing to say. But if we feel we aren’t really doing what we were born for, and we feel we ARE BLOCKED PERMANENTLY FROM OUR DESTINY, we have a subconscious death wish and one way that shows up, is in our pursuing what drains us and sabotages our attempts to rise and heal. (Note- Rise comes before heal.)

One person described this to me as, “I felt like my luck had run out.” When I asked when he felt so, he said, “When I was returning from evening tuition.”

Another person said that after he’d gotten married, he and his new wife, called his sister to tell her and, “We both felt after that phone call, that everything of ours was finished.”

Was there a moment of your life you felt like that? Like from then on you were done for? Finished?

It might not be something that makes sense to you. But if you want to remember it, the memory will come.

3) False Values

Now each one of these points leads to the other. Very often we feel our luck has run out, or we are permanently barred from our destiny, because we have violated something we believed was a core value.

For example, people who leave an abuser often feel guilty, that they left the abuser in poverty as they themselves went on to better days. The poverty thing makes them sideline the fact they escaped actual abuse, to where they feel so hurt inside that they could leave someone in poverty, that they forget the reality of what happened.

I call it a problem of false values because when we have a set of values drilled into us through society, religion, education etc., that does not have our basic humanity and human right to life at the core, we’re going to have a clash of values at some point which short circuits us.

I saw this movie yesterday – “The Boys from Brazil”. It’s about this nazi hunter investigator who uncovers this plot where clones of Adolf Hitler were made and placed in locations all over Europe and America. At the end of the movie, he has a chance to see that these clones are killed, but he doesn’t allow it, because they’re children.

Now I don’t know what your position on that might be. Should artificial beings with tendencies to mass murder be allowed to live? Or should they be treated as children because they look like and been brought up as normal children?

A commentator on the video said, “But even Hitler growing up in a different place and time could turn out to be – just interested in photography. Until someone has done a crime, we shouldn’t treat them like a criminal.”

Another replied, “The cells of the clone carry the tendencies of the source. If not, then why take them from the original at all? It’s been proven that animals and plants inherit the habits and talents of parents, that is why clones are made in the first place.”

Now, if one of those clones grew up and engineered a wicked and cunning plot to do genocide, and they were standing right in front of us, about to kill us, we’d have a different approach I suppose. We’d realize this is about our right to live, and that primal core value would influence what we did next.

But in the absence of such a scenario immediately in front of our eyes…. well…

What I want to say is, we have to resolve things like this for ourselves based on our primal core values whatever those are. Because if we don’t we cut off our own energy flow as we feel we’ve violated something we really believe in.

In our day and time we’re constantly bombarded by things that don’t match our core values and we need to develop the gut strength to know when this is happening and stand our ground.

Because what others think about us, what even our own mind thinks about us, doesn’t matter. IT’S WHAT OUR DEEP SOUL FEELS that manages our energy.

So we need our deep soul to feel right about us.

4) Disconnection from the body

How do we know if our Soul feels right about us?

Our energy flows right.

We know if our energy is flowing right, most easily from our bodies.

Our body is our faithful indicator of what’s happening with our soul.

It’s hard to “reoccupy the body” when you’ve been living in knots and crosses for a long time, but it’s got to be done, because you need your indicator in this world.

If something’s bad for your body, it’s bad for your soul.

If something makes your body feel bad, it’s bad for your soul.

Of course the body can be made to feel good for a short while, and then it feels bad… one has to judge for themselves – what’s what.

But if we’re disconnected from our bodies we’re at a huge disadvantage and vulnerable to all kinds of vampirism and draining.

I have often been able to pin-point exactly when a person cut off from the bodies. Most often it was when their trust was broken.

Let me explain. We’re born with this instinctive trust in our own bodies. Children know when we’re abused before our minds know what it is, because our body tells us something is wrong.

Now many of us, find ourselves in situations where our bodies tell us something is wrong or right, and we go on that and find out that our physical instinct was wrong. This is extremely life shattering for a person.

A most common example is if we’re physically attracted to someone. Our body tells us “this is good,” but later we realize it was absolutely the worst thing.

That breaks our trust in our body and causes us to disconnect. Because if it were right, why’d it lead us into such a soul destroying mess?

This brings us to our last point – perhaps the most important part of this letter.

5) Life Deception Continue reading