How to Heal a Broken Heart

Letter to Ed about my own experience with a heart condition called Cardio Myopathy or heart muscle degeneration and wherein I provide photographic evidence that emotional release and herbs for holistic healing, did repair, rehabilitate and heal a heart given up on by the medical establishment; The simple things that made the impossible, possible.

Ed, for a long time now I’ve wanted to write about treating the broken heart. As someone who’d suffered so much because of a chronically under-functioning heart, and was told at the age of 19 that I wouldn’t live very long after two heart attacks on the same day, I had to take a serious interest in alternative medicine and natural healing for my heart’s sake, or die.

I wasn’t too enamored by this world, to tell you the truth. I might’ve preferred dying, but God had other plans. You know what they say – Life is what happens to you while you’re busy planning something else.

Ed, people don’t talk enough about how emotions affect actual heart health.

In reality it’s an established fact even in the medical system which generally gives so little respect to treating the human body as an emanation of spirit.

Those links Ed, are as mainstream “information” sources, as they come. Even they who don’t publish one thing without some kind of exploitative agenda or the other, are forced to admit the power of emotion in affecting the physical heart.

I myself Ed, never thought I’d ever develop a heart condition. I’d watch these old movies in which they showed these very old people getting a heart attack when they heard their factory burned down. Stuff like that. Things I never thought would happen in my life.

But circumstances were such that on Christmas Day 2000, I, possibly the most cheerful girl you could ever have met, and famous for being the go to person to get cheered up and encouraged when you’re in a bad time, had two heart attacks or cardiac arrests on the same day.

The picture beneath is me in the heart trouble days at the age of 20. Notice how I’m holding my left shoulder up. I had to almost manually hold my heart up by pushing my left arm against my chest all day – just to keep going, to numb the pain down a bit. That was my normal posture in those years.

I’m sorry about the horrible picture quality. In a fit of rage some years ago I destroyed all my old photographs and only a few I’d taken pics of with a horrible webcam in the early 2000s remain.

I was given zero chance of recovery from the two heart attacks on the same day – Christmas 2000. In the lead up to the heart attack I’d gone 2 years with severe angina pain nearly 24 x 7 and by the time I had the heart attacks I was able to be awake only 4 hours at a time.

You’d wonder how come I didn’t do anything about it those two whole years. I can’t make excuses Ed. I just was so cut off from my own reality and so busy playing Mother Teresa to others and tripping on being such a sacrificing sufferer that I ignored my own condition.

I also had no one who cared for me around watching at the time, who might’ve brought me to my senses. I was at university in Australia then. It was just not done to have heart issues -just not cool. It simply didn’t happen to our age group.

I remember this girl who said she had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and everyone was dying on behalf of her, such sympathy and all. And woah if someone had a surgery like to remove a wisdom tooth or inflamed tonsils – people would be collecting money to send them flowers.

Heart problems and heart attacks… no one on campus knew what those were.

I’ve since come to understand Ed, that the average person who doesn’t have heart problems cannot imagine what it’s like for a person who does have heart problems.

People who live on an emotional frequency and have blocked up sorrow – so big that they cannot let it out and continue to live their normal lives, so big that it would threaten their personality built up with such difficulty over so many years; people who feel they cannot AFFORD to have feelings, because so many others depend on them to do what they do; such people tend to have heart conditions.

It seems unfair Ed, but as time goes by, I’ve realized that the most fair thing in the world is the body protesting a life not acceptable to the spirit.

The falling ill of the body, is the start of the healing of a LIFE. A life whose memories we could carry inside us for eternity.

Enough of the rambling. I have this key word Ed, “Eternity.” When that word shows up in my writing, I know I’m rambling a bit.

Getting back to the topic:

1) Acknowledge you have a broken heart.

This bit is hell Ed. There’s pride involved. There’s a sense of failure that’s very hard to face. It’s like life itself and all its constructs have to come apart to face that your heart’s broken.

It is perhaps a little easier for those whose hearts got broken the traditional way – you know the whole boy meets girl story.

It’s when it isn’t the traditional broken heart narrative that things get rocky. A lot of people are told they CAN’T be broken hearted about “trivial things” or “that happened so long ago.”

You just have to have the guts to face your own truth.

The fact is, Ed, no one reaches heart trouble just because of eating a lot of fatty food and not exercising.

Physical broken heart = emotional broken heart.

If you treat the heart any way but as an emotional being, it’s just going to backfire.

2) Get NATURAL first aid.

When you get natural first aid, you train your heart to be well again. Herbs come with the consciousness of wellness, not the consciousness of “I’m going to kick the bucket soon,” that comes with what I call “dead medicine.”

The heart is all about consciousness, even more sensitive than other parts of the body.

When you have a symptom like heart pain, you want that what you take for it has a positive life and joy supporting consciousness. Every time you take that medicine you want to feel lifted up emotionally. Not like you’re sick.

In fact whatever lifts you up emotionally IS first aid for the heart.

Here are my most favorite herbs for cardiac emergencies.

3) Don’t be penny-wise pound-foolish.

Do the things that make you happy, as a PRIORITY.

Enjoyment and finding pleasure in life are important. What’s the use of all you do to make a living if you don’t have a life?

Again, this often tends to be disastrous to an ‘established’ personality. But you have to choose.

I write this from hard experience. Pleasure and joy are way more healing, for a lot cheaper, than anything you can buy. I’ve wasted a lot of time and money getting what I thought was more important instead of what would’ve made me happy. I regretted it later.

4) Have yourself a Merry little Christmas.

Celebration of anything seems to be going out of fashion. It’s considered “non-essential” you see. But it’s one easy way to healing a broken heart.

Something about being happy about something, about saying, “Today is a special day,” gives the heart something like a massage.

5) Do the Hunter’s Brain stimulation for Heart and Muscle Atrophy

Ed, when you have heart trouble you can’t be as up and about as others. Many people have to start the long journey back to fitness right from lying down in bed.

If you don’t, you’ll just atrophy away, so in whichever way you can you simply have to start moving.

One of my ways of healing was traveling and when I was traveling I’d go days and days without exercise and having to sit and sit and sit.

In those days I learned the power of simple hand and foot exercises to stimulate the metabolism and exercise the heart.

The Hunter’s Brain stimulation is about five points of the body you put pressure on to stimulate the heart and with it, circulation and metabolism.

In short they are – sunlight for your eyes, pressure on the balls of your palms, your heels, the back of your neck and sit on a hard surface and rock on your butt.

The following picture is of me, 8500 above sea level,up in the mountains when I was pregnant. I’d been told I’d never be able to either go up that high OR carry a baby to term.

6) Feel your heart beat.

Ed, this is one of the simplest greatest exercises ever, for anything. You sit still and feel your heart beat.

After a while you become of the vibration that passes out of your heart to the rest of your body, and the return vibration.

You know those situations where you were numb before? When you got taken for a ride? When you got emotionally exploited (again) and you didn’t realize it in the moment? When you liked something or someone but didn’t realize it till much later?

When you do this exercise often enough, you’ll begin to find that your heart is louder to you than before, and in the moment your heart will let you know what your instinct is in the moment. You’ll know what you like and what you don’t.

The heart needs a feeling of safety to be well. We can have that only when we feel like if someone’s going to exploit us, we’ll know in the moment, rather than later.

I used to get lied to all the time, Ed. Being aware of my own heart beat helped me face it in the moment that I was being lied to. Being aware of my heart beat in the moment helped me figure out if someone meant what they were saying or not.

And so very many times, being aware of my heart beat stopped me from doing things – sometimes I realized why and often I never found out – but I consider it wisdom never to go down a path your heart won’t go down with you on.

In the long run, nothing heartless ever works out and is always regretted.

7) The Heart and Poisoning

There are four levels on which a poison could work – Blood, Water, Electric and Consciousness.

Blood and Water poisons are simple enough to understand. You detoxify by drinking enough water, take some liver support, blood cleansing herbs – basically herbs that raise the metabolism and swish the blood around and you’re done.

Electrical and Consciousness level poisons though are on a whole other level.

And this is where the heart comes in.

The heart is the vibration keeper of the body, the motor pump. It’s affected if the electricity of the body is affected, and with it the consciousness or state of being of the body.

How can a heart find its own rhythm again? — Animation of the heart beating inside the chest in-between the lungs.

It’s like this. If I gave you a beautiful gift, as it touched your hands, as you opened the wrapping, your heart would respond to the electricity of the gift and the consciousness it carries (EVERYTHING carries consciousness Ed, even plastic).

Your heart would beat just a little faster as your fingers opened the wrapping. Before your eyes saw what was in there, your heart would respond to it – either slowing the heart rate, or making it faster, or getting irregular. Maybe even skipping a beat.

With each of these, the blood flows differently in the body, the nervous system frequency changes here and there, and your consciousness too changes to meet the consciousness of the gift in your hands.

That’s real life Ed.

Life affects us. Now imagine if someone gave you something that was nice to look at and was something you liked mentally but while you were opening the package, your heart was like, “No, no, no, I’m being fooled. I’m being distracted. This gift is given to me for a reason other than what it’s supposed to be.”

All those electrical and consciousness patterns also change the body. And those hang about until they get their expression.

That’s what electrical and consciousness poisons are – un-resolved instincts and impulses. We can get them from food that’s not what it’s supposed to be. Think GM food.

We can get them from food and things given to us in deception, things that our spirit is not comfortable with. And we can inherit them too.

These affect our heart and sooner or later our heart becomes tired and feels futile. “Why am I working so hard when I’m ignored. Why don’t I just go numb and stop reacting. What’s the point anyway?”

This is one major cause of Cardio Myopathy or Heart Muscle Degeneration. The doctors will say they don’t know the cause of it, or they say it’s just stress.

But can you imagine what level of stress it takes for a heart to stop giving a damn about reacting to life anymore?

The possibly excruciating but only way out is to start giving respect to our heart again, and our instincts.

There are herbs to help us and they’re described in this article – 7 Angels of Thwarted Passion – Herbs to Change Inherited Energy Patterns .

8) The Heart and Electrical Blow Out

Well, this happens purely because of actual electromagnetic fields and radiation stimulating the metabolism and heart rate beyond what’s normal and without the emotional counterpart to justify that.

You know how microwave radiation works, Ed? It excites the cells of the food which get stimulated and release heat.

The same thing done to the body, if sustained, can cause the heart to grow weak and even blow out.

Recovery is all about stopping the radiation, learning to breathe slow – to normalize the heart rate, and supporting the negative polarity in the body to balance out the over-positive.

I’ve described herbs to do that in this article:
Positive and Negative Polarity – Holistic Recovery with Herbs from Radiotherapy and Radiation Damage

9) Hormones of the heart

Hormones don’t make feelings, feelings make hormones. <- That, Ed, is one of the most important things I ever learned.

I was looking at these case studies of infertility and thinking of how my Granddad would’ve laughed at many of them. He’d have said stuff like, “How could you expect to make a baby when you like popcorn more than her?” “Your body refuses to make a copy of that man.”

Granddad was all about feelings and how all of our lives come out of our feelings.

When someone went to Granddad with a problem, he barely heard what they said in words. It was their feelings he let himself experience.

There was this guy who owned a car sales place in the US. He was a very unlikely person for a salesman but maybe that’s why he was rather successful. He’d go up to people looking at the cars, and ask them if they liked anything they saw. And if they hmmed and hawwwed, he’d tell them where they could find him if they were interested in anything.

His only “sales technique” was giving the children sweets to keep them busy while the parents focused on the car.

This man Ed, was a kind and loving man, who liked children, but after 20 years of marriage had given up having any of his own.

Long story short, Ed, Granddad worked out that he simply wasn’t alright with himself as a car salesman and he felt so deeply about it, he didn’t WANT to have children because he wasn’t proud of himself.

You know Ed, there’s nothing wrong with being a successful car salesman. But for him, it was all wrong. He wanted to be something else altogether. He wanted his children to have a different kind of father than who he was then.

He changed his life around, still had his car showroom but others ran it now. He went back to university and I can’t remember what it was he did. But he became proud of himself and he sent Granddad a gift when he became a Dad. It was a watch and one of Granddad’s favorites. The kind in a little box which you could unfold and keep on your bedside table as you traveled. With an alarm and three different time zones and that sort of thing.

It meant a lot to Granddad because once upon a time he too was a man who had reached an advanced age without having children. And he too changed his life around drastically and then he found his love and had three daughters before he knew it. And there he was that day, sitting with me – his great great grand daughter.

I have dealt with the topic in detail at the following page:
Hormones don’t make Feelings. Feelings make Hormones

The article describes 5 very important points:
1. Hormones don’t make feelings. Feelings make hormones.
2. The Heart frequency is the Earth frequency, is the Reality frequency.
3. Hormones produced by the Heart trigger off hormone production in the body. Make your own home food.
4) Your Body is your Heart. An exercise to release pain.
5) Steer clear of a pseudo heart frequency.

At the end of 2019, I thought that for me, this was the Top #1 article of the year. Hormones don’t make Feelings. Feelings make Hormones

10) Understand how sleep affects the heart

In the Russian gulag – ie. the concentration or prison camps of Russia where they’d hold all those who did not agree with the state’s position on everything, and torture them into accepting the state’s position, they had special cells for sleep torture.

They were so cold, a person couldn’t sleep for very long at a time. And the lights were always on and in their face.

How the jailers knew they had to shift political prisoners – who they could only afford to torture, but not kill – out of there, was because their heart would stop working right.

They’d have them get back to the main section of the prison where they’d get to go out in the sun everyday (something a big part of the world population has been denied this spring because of the “quarantine”. Could you have imagined that Ed? ) and made to eat healthy and sleep enough so their heart could recover.

Things the Russian torture system knew so well, seem to be lost from the general medical system though, these days.

In sleep, our frequency normalizes, our heart rate normalizes. If we have disturbed sleep, or far below our requirements, our heart muscle for lack of the hours of stable contraction and expansion offered by sleep – begins to atrophy, swell up (causing chest pain) or malfunction in various ways.

There are herbs to help increase the quality of our sleep and thereby directly support our heart in healing. I have described them in this article:
Traumatized Dream States and Sleep Trauma – Recovery with Herbs.

17) Sexual energy and the heart

When Gabriel was three or four, Ed, I had in my hand a glass of water with a liberal dose of tincture of Damiana and Pulsatilla and other herbs to help release pent up tension in the lower abdomen. That’s nearly always pent up sexual energy.

I was distracted by something on the computer, and when I looked back, I saw the little fellow had polished off the entire glass. He gets his affinity for alcohol in all forms from his paternal parent. Not me for sure. My Irish granddad drank enough for a few generations. I respect that feat and preserve myself for champagne only.

Anyway I was curious about what would happen to the little fellow – and lo and behold I noticed that the herbs which in adults released pent up sexual tension, inspired the little guy to achieve athletic feats like climbing up cupboards like they were cliffs, and jumping off the bed onto the floor and all that. After all that he fell into a very sound sleep. It was clear that the herbs had energized his heart and lungs.

I noticed then and after that herbs which toned up the reproductive system had an immediately helpful even amazingly WOW effect on heart health.

I remember Granddad showing me that the one energy highway that when blocked causes heart attacks, is the one up from the uterus or the pelvic area to the heart.

10 times out of 10, a person with heart problems has blocks in the lower abdomen caused by long term stress, tension, and lack of freedom to express oneself sexually.

By ‘express oneself sexually’ I don’t mean just expressing sexual feelings, but that our sexuality is a basic primal, first being of ours. Before anything of ours developed, our sex was decided. Everything of us and our lives developed taking our sexuality as the basic premise and given.

When a person isn’t allowed to be who they are, they’re hit sexually, their sexual energy is blocked and it causes tension in the area and slowly blocks off the energy that goes up to the heart from there.

So it’s now a big part of any treatment for the heart that I make to include something for reproductive system support because it works so spectacularly all the time.

As you know I had two heart attacks when I was 19 and was told I wouldn’t live very long and that I could forget about ever actually carrying and giving birth to a baby.

Along the way I discovered Spikenard– a herb which does one thing so well – loosens tension in the center of the body.

I used to have Spikenard tea every evening at one time and that just happens to be around the time I got pregnant with Gabriel. All through the pregnancy I kept having Spikenard tea every evening.

I had no glimmer of a heart problem of any sort during the pregnancy (despite facing some extremely difficult situations) or the 36 hour labor I went through to give birth to Gabriel.

Evidence – Exhibit 1 – Was not supposed to be possible:

After sobbing and crying with relief that Gabriel was finally actually out, I cleaned the bathroom up and did the laundry, and showered, before I went to bed to get some sleep with the new arrival. Me,then.

20) Taste your tears

When we cry, our tears filled with our feelings stain our cheeks. When we cry a lot the tears flow so fast, and if we don’t give a damn who’s watching or not and try to wipe our tears away out of sight, our tears; they reach all the way to the mouth and we taste them.

In that is a profound sense of awareness of our own pain in a primal way words can never convey, a sense of completion of grieving.

To cry without feeling or tasting our tears is so painful. It’s unfinished business.

No one’s going to tell our story to God, bear witness for our heart, like our own tears. We need to experience our own story, and feel waves for compassion for our own selves.

This is something our heart asks of us. To have compassion for ourselves as we have compassion for others.

In a time when I came to the awareness that I had not stood up for myself enough, not stood witness and asked for justice for myself, one day I collected my own tears and put them in a bottle like I put mother tinctures of plants. I filled the bottle with pure water and I took it thrice a day. I still have the bottle with me and whenever I feel led to I take a few drops.

My tears are a prayer words can’t get near, Ed. And it’s been something deep and powerful in my life, to accept them and honor them. They’re not a sign of my weakness or helplessness, but a prayer and the emanation of my soul.

In conclusion

Here is one of my most favorite “heart” pics ever:

And here are links to articles with information on the specific herbs for specific heart conditions.

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How to Heal a Broken Heart