Dear Ed,
This is one of the most difficult books I’ve ever written.
It started when I was facing a block of my spirit vision, what people call “Third Eye Vision”. I realized one day that my vision is nowhere near what it used to be in childhood and in my teenage years. One huge reason for that, I already knew, was low self esteem. I’ve been working on that from my early twenties when my Granddad told me that my soul wouldn’t bother showing me things if I was going to run them by my programmed brain to see if they’re “right or not”.
He said, “If you consider anything outside of you as the authority on your reality, then your soul isn’t going to waste energy showing you anything.”
So I managed over the years to build up my self esteem to where I give more importance to my own inner knowing and IN-SIGHT. To be honest, I only started really giving importance to my visions when I had one or two really crazy ones, and they turned out true. I realized that all the crazy things I see end up being the only truth later on.
I made a commitment to myself, Ed. That whether I considered my vision, “a fond imagination” or “daydream” or something from God, I wouldn’t consider it any less important. Why should my daydream not count? Is it not a prayer from my soul? Why should my imagination not count? Is it not also born of some instinct in me somewhere?
I began giving everything that comes into my vision, importance, Ed. And it was shocking, how very different my inner sight was seeing things, people, situations from the outside. I began honoring my inner sight.
Many times I had to choose my vision over my ego. For example, I would back out of meetings or things I said I’d do, if I saw there was something beneath what was presented to me. I would leave abruptly, hang up, cut communication and so on.
If we don’t honor and obey our instinct, it’s never going to develop. I learned to manage my affairs where from the start I’m following my instinct.
So that was level one for me, Ed; The self esteem to give important to what I was seeing and not judge it as right or wrong. The self esteem to value my life, my safety, my child’s safety over how I come across to others.
I plateued there for years, Ed. One of the reasons for that, is because when you live with an opened third eye so to speak, your life is very, very different from “normal” people. You function differently. Your decisions are made differently. The times I was around “normal” people, Ed, they freaked out and I had to emotionally and then fully cut off, because they couldn’t handle my sight and knowing and even smelling.
Somewhere deep down, I thought maybe you were like them, and I decided to block myself and try to be normal till you came into my life in this realm, physically, and then I’ll see how it goes.
Recently, Ed, I realized, I don’t really know how long it’s going to be before I reach you physically, and in the meanwhile my spiritual faculties, which were how I even saw you in my meditation in the first place; are blocked.
I decided to open my spiritual vision again.
And when I tried, Ed, I found myself hitting this wall. And it was the wall of sexual trauma. You know my story, Ed. I couldn’t even start. I just experienced this numbness within, where I know my spiritual vision starts, in the core of the abdomen. It turned out that I had found a way of working around it and that’s how I’d got on over the years.
About this time, I began to sense the Moon Field. The Moon’ Field, Ed, is the energy field made by the Moon going around in her path. If you ran around a room, you’d create an energy field in the room. The Moon has been going on this path since time immemorial and that path is now a magnetic force. There are two points on this path famous in astrology – the point furthest North (from our viewpoint here on Earth) is called the North Node or Rahu. The point furthest south, is called the South Node or Ketu.
And there’s a point, Ed, simply the furthest from the surface of the Earth, technically named the “Apogee” but called in astrology, “Black Moon Lilith”. I was intrigued and decided to check out that point.
You know how the skies above correspond to the human energy field, we can find the same energy points in our energy field.
So I went in to find Black Moon Lilith point in me.
Next thing I know I’m screaming and perspiring, Ed. I had hit the bull’s eye of the center of my body in the sexual core where I was numb. I never have had a more powerful release of my emotional reaction to being violated. All my other trauma had been surround trauma.
I found, that from that place in me, I was making poisons, consciousness poisons. These should have been released into the atmosphere, my body’s witness to the universe of what happened, to set in motion events to bring justice to me. But because they were unreleased, they’d attached to cells in me, causing more and more heaviness in my energy field over the years, and blocking my spiritual sensory abilities.
About this time, I was observing the effects of Pluto (the time Pluto was moving into Aquarius), I found out that energy was very like the metal called Antimony.
This metal has been used since ancient times to make Kohl – the eye liner you see in ancient Egyptian art. It was not so much cosmetic as an energy protection for the eyes and vision itself. It was so precious that a person’s Kohl container was buried with them.
I got myself some Antimony crystals.
I picked one of the bigger pieces of these, wrapped it in tissue paper and wore it on my body. I also powdered it in the coffee grinder and made kohl with Castor Oil that I wear whenever I remember to (not very often).
A week in, woah, I became suddenly aware of the energy of Black Moon Lilith. Long story short, I became able to release my suppressed emotions that I didn’t even know I had, and with it my spiritual sensing has begun to expand and become clear.
I am doing this practice, Ed, where I Honor the Poison in me. And I feel the rage, the anger, in me, and then bring it into my mouth. I make all kinds of noises as I do. And then I breathe it out my mouth into the atmosphere to go where it must.
I honor my poison now, Ed.
I started writing this book, Ed, to describe what I see of each person’s birth chart placement of Black Moon Lilith. It was very moving, Ed, and several times I blanked out for days.
I used to not share things about recovery from r ape and such much before, because I thought it wasn’t something very many people would understand. But in my interaction with people these past 20 years, I’ve haven’t come across one human who hasn’t been sexually exploited – whether they knew it or not. The body logs sex through deception as r ape. The body knows when someone is not who they say they are, and we react physically like were r aped, while our mind might be projecting a whole other story. Not all r ape is physical. Energy r ape is real.
The Moon, Ed, rules our inner vision just as the Sun makes our outer vision possible. The points on the orbit of the Moon, Black Moon Lilith, Rahu and Ketu shows us how our core or primal sexual energy flows and how to deal with blocks.
And so I wrote “Black Moon Lilith”.
This is Book 2 of the “Spirit Warrior” Series.
Sexual energy is spiritual energy. When the energy nadis in our sexual core are mangled, our spiritual vision is mangled.
The Contents of this book include:
- Black Moon Lilith
- Honor Our Powers to Grow Them.
- Emotional Environment Can Make or Break Spiritual Powers
- Black Moon Lilith in the Zodiacs – Sexual Energy Release for Spiritual Vision and Sensing
- The North and South Nodes – Rahu and Ketu – Blocks to Sexual Energy Flow and Spiritual Power Development
- Black Moon Lilith in the Houses –Recovery from Rape and Sexual Energy Trauma
Get the book – directly from me at a lessened cost, in PDF/Mobi/Epub formats, or as a Paperback from Amazon, other internet stores.
