Dear Ed,
After my article about Moldavite, I fell into a sort of depression and didn’t want to write about crystals anymore. So many people want to get Moldavite but it’s so expensive and the market is filled with fakes. I told God, “I’m not writing about things people can’t find, or can’t afford anymore. That simple. If you don’t provide people the stones, what’s the point of me writing about them? And anyway it’s not like anyone’s journey is going to stall because of lack of them. So why should I bother writing about them?
I don’t want to make people long for stuff they can’t have.”
I then fermented in my depression many days. Yesterday, God managed to get me in a quiet moment when I wasn’t seething with rage, and told me that scarcity is a lie. Scarcity literally actually doesn’t exist, except by myth in the minds of people. It’s an illusion.
When we want an energy, that energy wants us; that energy is with us.
The wanting makes the universe start rearranging and shifting to bring the manifestation of that energy to us.
That is not scarcity, that is the sacred healing process, that will make us able to hold that beautiful energy we want, in our energy field, and vibe with it and experience the bliss and ascension it provides.
Without this process, the physical manifestation is quite useless.
There are people with tons of precious stones they inherited, or in their shops even and they aren’t exactly in bliss or anything close. How come?
I know from my experience that the things I’ve wanted the most, if I’d gotten them when I started wanting them, I’d not have been able to hold them or even see their magic.
God said to me, “In you, stop being afraid to want. And stop being afraid to make others want things. That’s how the sacred journey starts, by wanting. Don’t be afraid to light the fire, or spread the fire. Trust me to be unlimited.”
And so, Ed, I have ended my litigation with God (as far this matter is concerned), and decided to continue writing about crystals.
The crystal that literally whispered in my ear to write about it now, is Tanzanite.
Remember, my darling, I am no gemologist, have no books to consult and simply don’t have the time or CPU speed to do much internet research. This is 100% my personal experience based on unhinged lusting after energy fields I like instinctively.
Tanzanite
Ed, some years ago I wanted a blue sapphire ring and Amazon brought up a Tanzanite ring instead. Tanzanite looks a lot like Blue Sapphire and is often sold in India as an astrological replacement for Blue Sapphire.
Blue sapphire has traditionally been used as a stone to wear by those facing hardships in life which the astrologers said was being caused by Saturn.
Saturn does “cause problems” in the sense that the energy of God as Saturn doesn’t allow a person to go hurtling into “prosperity” that could destroy something they hold dear, like family, love, health etc.
It’s like a Mama bird holding a baby bird, away from the edge of the nest because he’s too young to fly, and then kicking him out, because he is. Saturn does that.
Technically, Ed, you can’t do anything to control Mama birds. Anyone with a human mother knows they’re a force on their own which even the father can’t control.
So really, there’s nothing that can stop Saturn’s effect in a person’s life.
But because blue sapphires can be dark blue and close to black, Ed, the color associated with Saturn traditionally, they got the reputation of being good to help with the discipline of Saturn.
I, like all sincere people in these parts, got a really cheap blue sapphire ring. It was most probably fake – but I’m an old school believer in the power of God to change water into wine so I just look for anything close and tell God that’s what I can afford, to do the modification required. And so I started to do the invoking of Saturn by mantra.
It involved chanting the Shani Mantra – I cannot remember now, I think maybe a 1008 times or something like that, every day for 80 days or such.
I invoked Saturn or Shani to end my life. I just wanted OUT, Ed. I felt, you my soulmate no longer existed in this world or you’d have found me by the age of 30. I was fed up of waiting. I wanted out. The local crystal shop Brahmin priest told someone in my hearing that invoking Shani or Saturn can kill people, so naturally, I was IN.
But God as Saturn tossed out my death wish, taught me some life lessons (which I am still in the process of processing) and then gave me free pizza which I considered a successful and auspicious end of the invoking.
You’ve read about it before, Ed. How the day that Saturn/Shani decided to speak to me and end my 80 or 88 day long mantra invoking, I ordered pizza and when the pizza came I found I had no cash. It was raining cats and dogs in the mountains, dead dark outside. But I was going to somehow go to the ATM and all that.
But the pizza delivery guy says, “No way. The pizza is free today.” I said, “Does your dad own Domino’s Pizza or what! I’ll pay next time for sure. Write your name on the bill so I can show it to the next delivery guy. ”
And he wrote his name, Ed, “Shani.” That’s Sanskrit for Saturn.
I was shocked. “That’s your name?” In India, Ed, it is considered a most inauspicious name as Saturn is famous for bringing nothing but trouble. “It IS my name,” he said.
Needless to say that guy was never to be seen again in that tiny mountain town, and I only remembered the incident again when I was hundreds of miles away.
So I’m just saying, Ed, the (most probably fake) blue sapphire was not of interest IN PARTICULAR to Saturn, and to be honest I’ve concluded that there’s no stone you can wear or have that will protect you from Mama bird’s discipline, which is actually protection. You don’t ever really want to be without Saturn’s protection. Not really. You just want some comfort and cuddling and emotional support.
But there is a connection between Saturn and Blue Sapphire, Tanzanite and other crystals and minerals like Lapis Lazuli, Turquoise, Celestite, Kyanite, Cavansite on the blue spectrum of frequency.
I find they vibrate at the same frequency as the endocrinal glands of the thyroid, Ed, and the glands in the brain, and the endocrine glands everywhere in the body. These are parts of us that make the chemicals that set off chemical reactions in the body. They make our internal drugs so to speak.
All life in our body, and our consciousness, Ed, is ruled by these drugs called hormones, that our glands make, and we can know how powerful they are by my use of the word “drug”. We know, how a “drug” can change us physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually; how the use of a drug can change our lifestyle and life itself.
Our bodies, under the influence of our soul, make our own natural drugs made for our life experience, in our endocrinal glands and this is what controls our lives, consciousness, mental abilities, moods, choices and bodies.
The crystals of the blue frequency stimulate our endocrine glands, making them come out of the sluggishness caused – on the physical side by disruption through poisons and radiation; and on the other side by mental, emotional, spiritual blocks.
This means they decide the speed or frequency at which the energy field spins, which becomes our nervous frequency, heartbeat rate, metabolic rate.
The speed or frequency of our energy field, decides nearly everything in our bodies. High speed or frequency means a higher metabolic rate, faster digestion, faster brain, but also faster burnout.
Lower frequency means lower metabolic rate, slower digestion, slower thought processes, but also better absorption of nutrition, better quality thought, rested organs, longer life.
Of course, we go through these at different times of the day, and we need the whole spectrum.
Now when a person has a metabolic syndrome, Ed, like a thyroid problem – very common among those with weight management issues; there are always the corresponding energy management problems which are the real cause of the syndrome. And those energy management problems are 100% always caused by unprocessed emotional trauma. ALWAYS, Ed.
This is so irritating for me, and for everyone who’s got metabolic muck-ups, Ed, because nearly everyone with those problems are “realized souls” in the sense that they already are emotionally aware and energy sensitive. It’s precisely WHY they have a metabolic syndrome in the first place. Because they HAVE emotions.
Only, there are deep disconnects in the consciousness, not allowing them to process those emotions out. Now, Ed, a lot of people know that when you heal the heart area, you release a lot of trauma. Naturally. But there is trauma that is not just you not crying or whatever. There is trauma, Ed, that’s stuck, not because you don’t love yourself enough to release it (heart zone block), but trauma, Ed, that you cannot release because YOUR SENSE OF IDENTITY DENIES THE POSSIBILITY OF ITS EXISTENCE.
It’s like trying to solve a problem you don’t know you have. Like a butcher crying because he doesn’t have a computer. His mind says, “Dude, you’re a butcher. You got the best knives in the world. You’re the best butcher for miles around. What do you want a computer for?” So his mind blocks out that he wants a computer, and he doesn’t know why he’s crying. But he keeps crying inside.
When I was about 17, Ed, I saw in a magazine, a picture of a blue sapphire, and I got mesmerized. I couldn’t stop thinking of it. I even had dreams of that brilliant electric blue. Of course I couldn’t dream of ever owning a blue sapphire then. But just the desire for it, Ed, it started me on the journey. A few weeks later, I developed Rosacea.
At the time, I didn’t know my birth ancestry (both my grandfathers were of Caucasian ancestry, and most other ancestors as well), but there I was in South India, pretty brown to the sight myself, but with a condition no one around had seen before.
Things suddenly drastically changed in my life soon after that, Ed. I ended up going to Australia to do my graduation, and there, this woman in the park says to me, “Pretty bad Rosacea you got there, and sunburn too, my daughter had it bad when she was your age.” I was gobsmacked, Ed. I said, “You know what this is?” “Of course,” she said, “This bit here, is Rosacea, and this is sunburn!!” She told me home remedies for it, and after YEARS OF HELL (I hadn’t known my sunburn was sunburn because Indians don’t sunburn), my entire teenage years, in one afternoon both were dealt with.
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand how I had a condition, that white Australians could recognize on sight, but which was unheard of among the people I’d grown up with.
That, Ed, was a pivotal change in my consciousness, which was life-changing for me, because then, more stuff happened which led to my finding out my birth identity, which liberated me from hell upon hell of suffering.
I’m telling you this, Ed, to demonstrate that some of the problems we face, that we can’t seem to shake off, are because our sense of identity can’t even acknowledge their existence, let alone find a solution. It’s like a bird can’t imagine having a problem only fish have. Or a boy can’t imagine having a problem only girls have. Or a rich person having a problem only a poor person has.
Our sense of identity, Ed, is the key to our subconscious mind. It determines what we bring out from ourselves into consciousness and from there on, into action.
I have found, Ed, that the crystals and stones of the blue spectrum do that crazy job of stimulating the glands of the body, not just throat and above, but also the part of the heart which makes hormones, and the glands of the reproductive system and hormones of the organs, like the adrenal glands; which control frequency and therefore on an energetic level our sense of identity; to change the very gear we’re in, Ed, slowly but surely, to one matching our primal or first identity.
These crystals, Ed, cause identity crises very often, which could manifest, like me getting Rosacea, and that makes us start re-calibrating ourselves as we start investigating.
Trauma stuck in places we couldn’t reach with our mentally programmed identity starts getting released.
All the blue spectrum crystals, Ed, start stimulating our glands to move to our own frequency instead of the one we grew up or were programmed to hold.
Nearly everyone I know, Ed, was trained by middle school to start holding a particular sort of personality and that begins to dictate their frequency as they subconsciously try to be a “good girl” or “bad boy”, or whatever. When I take Gabriel, our son, to the play area, I see the children beginning to develop personality prisons and by teenage they start walking a certain way and limiting themselves to fit into that personality.
The thug world constantly tells us, Ed, to “be like this”, “be like that” and we can end up stuck in personalities that end up being our prison, and which literally keep our bodies in certain frequencies, manifesting metabolic problems.
The blue spectrum of crystals, Ed, they stimulate our glands to come out of static and therefore into our own frequency.
Among the blue spectrum, Ed, there’s a huge range of frequency modulation. At one end are the opaque crystals or rather, minerals, like Turquoise. Those tune us in to our identity in the physical realm, our place here on earth. Turquoise for example, makes us begin to become sensitive to the animals, birds, rocks around us to get primal signals to put us on the right soul path for us.
Lapis Lazuli tunes us into spiritual identity so we begin to sense our soul group. It’s like signing into Group chat.
Celestite, Kyanite, all the blues start tuning us into our own identity on some level or the other, Ed.
But I started writing this, because of Tanzanite, Ed. Because I wanted to tell you about the one thing that Tanzanite did for me.
So Ed, a few years ago, as usual I was looking at Blue Sapphires on amazon and couldn’t afford them (my journey continues on that front), but Amazon brought up Tanzanite, for very, very, less and was attracted to it crazy. I bought a ring for 400 Rs. (About 5$). It arrived and I put it on. It was Friday when I put it on.
That night, when I went out walking with Gabriel, it was a rather warm night, but there was a beautiful breeze blowing. It was so refreshing, but my scalp felt left out, because my hair was as usual plaited and tied back. I went back home, Ed, and as I sat down, I felt this yearning in me, like my hair yearning, for breeze, for air. I decided, Ed, that I would let my hair loose when I went out walking next. I would give my hair the joy of fresh air.
Now Ed, for an adult woman in most places of India, to walk out with her hair not tied back, is unthinkable. On one hand, most old people used to say “If you go out with your hair loose, you’ll attract spirits.” It was assumed no one wanted to be possessed by miscellaneous “spirits” hanging about the neighborhood.
But underlying that, Ed, the real reason is because a woman with her hair let down and un-tethered, worldwide is seen as a loose woman, because she is a free woman. The connection of hair and sexuality is primal, Ed. A woman who is sexually free is seen as whore outright in most cultures. This is deeply ingrained in people everywhere and in many places, a woman with her hair loose attracts abuse. Not so much from men, but from other women, who are threatened by her freedom and then begin to psychically attack her, character defame her and so on.
You’d be shocked at the kind of covert assault, that women everywhere go through for letting out their long hair free, Ed, for even having long hair anymore really. I have seen women end up cutting their hair just to get accepted at work, or in church or the neighborhood. Many women of personal power keep their hair short, or manifest weak hair and then cut it, because if they grew it out, people around would get so threatened they wouldn’t be able to focus on work.
Many women lose hair when they feel unsafe, because it’s so deeply ingrained in us through generations, that long hair makes others jealous and we become vulnerable to abuse as a result.
Between a woman with long healthy hair, Ed, and a woman with short hair or limp tied back hair, most employers would choose the latter for the job, because she’d seem more “efficient”, “trustworthy”, “hands on” – all of it just covers for the fact that the long hair threatens most people.
I know men who had to cut their hair just to not trigger their family, colleagues etc. just so they could keep their job and stay in their house. It’s NOT restricted to some cultures, Ed, believe me. You can be as rich as you please, if you’re a man with long hair you’re going to find it hard to get a place to rent, even for a holiday, because people are going to think you’re going to seduce their wife, girlfriend, daughter, even son these days. They are instantly threatened.
A lot of men go bald as a survival mechanism, an attempt to stop people around them attacking them for their sexual energy. (One of the reason bald men are so sexy, is that they were so sexy to start with, they had to go bald to keep functioning in society.)
I don’t know, Ed, if you know, about how hair can affect people and relationships, groups, the very culture in an organization. It’s crazy – once you start noticing it, Ed, you can’t unsee it.
But I, Ed, have gone through hell in my life because of my hair. I grew up with like 80% more hair than anyone I knew, and now I’ve lost most of it because of the ritual torture, I still seem to have 80% more hair than anyone I know. My hair is utterly rebellious, Ed, a product of many races mixed together, and just like mixed breed dogs who the pet shelter will tell you, “their disposition cannot be predicted.” Some times my hair is sedated and straight, and sometimes it’s almost African type curly, and sometimes it’s both in different places, or somewhere in-between.
I have been horribly attacked, castigated, by women, Ed, for having my hair. One time I even shaved my head in distress, in the days I didn’t know what was going on.
So Ed, for me to let my hair out loose and go walking in the breeze, I was fighting all this old trauma; I have carried a lot of shame for having my hair.
My hair, Ed, takes a long time to dry after it’s washed, so over the years what’s ended up happening is, I had to tie it back before it fully dried, and that resulted in a dull constant headache, inflamed sinuses and ENT issues. I knew, Ed, that I’d have to start letting my scalp and hair breathe if I was to permanently deal with those, and so I’d made attempts to go out with my hair loose and get some sunlight and fresh air to the roots of my hair.
But the common culture is so thick in the air, Ed, that I never was able to go through with it.
Then came Tanzanite into my life, Ed, on a Friday. The next day, Ed, Saturday, I went out in the evening walking again, and Ed, I just took off the band holding my hair and undid the plait and let my hair loose. Just like that. We went for a 45 minute walk. Yes, there were entities staring but somehow I wasn’t affected. The next day, I left the flat with my hair loose again.
Somehow, Ed, I was able to do what I had not been able to do before. I had crossed a threshold of fear, Ed, and it set off things happening in my life, in all directions. It changed my life, Ed, and I never forget it.
Monday, Ed, I was sweeping the flat when the ring flew off my finger into the air and fell about 5 feet away from me on the clear floor. But when I reached there, it had disappeared. Just like that, into thin air. I knew in that second, that it had come to help me overcome my fear and had to go wherever it had to next because it had done what it had come to do.
I found out, Ed, that Tanzanite helps a person tune into their sexual identity frequency.
In our times, Ed, “sexual identity” means gender. But actually, “sexual identity” is something far deeper. It’s actually a soul thing. In soul sexuality, Ed, you either get the female or the male spectrum. In each, Ed, there’s a whole 360 degree spectrum of frequency. Every man knows that there are no two women with the exact same sexual frequency, and every woman knows that there are no two men with the exact same sexual frequency.
You got to be a natural man or woman to know what this unique sexual frequency is. It’s actually our deep soul, core spiritual frequency. It is completely unique to us, and it doesn’t show only in the unique way only we make love, but it shows in everything we do. In our every soul expression, we can either be like the others around or break out and express our own unique sexual or core soul frequency (the same thing).
The thug world constantly, Ed, constantly tries to tell us humans that we can succeed only if we express ourselves in certain ways. They put out videos and articles telling us what we should do to get followers. They tell us how we should dress, talk; even which words we should use instead of which words.
That’s all good for the fake humans who have no soul and therefore no unique soul or sexual frequency. But for us humans, it’s death and the grave. Because our soul will not support a life lived like a crawling worm stuck in-between two layers of stone. Our soul will only support us if we’re expressing our energy in authenticity to our own frequency. What’s the point of us existing as an individual soul if not for that?
Tanzanite, Ed, has helped me – I got a few pieces of raw Tanzanite maybe a year ago – keep it under my pillow; it has helped me consistently, although slowly to come into my own frequency. It’s been like trying to find a mobile phone signal in a rural area on top of a hill, Ed, to find myself from under all the trauma programming; but little by little I’m piecing together.
For now, Ed, this is my summary about Tanzanite: It helped me overcome one of my deepest fears – social castigation for letting my hair loose. And it helps me do what I do, Ed, that only I in the whole world do.
